


Worthy (On Hold)

by PinksoulCustard



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime, Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkwardness, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Redemption, Regret, Slow Build, Slow To Update, Starscream being Starscream, Starscream redemption, and i don't know how to change the complete option
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 20,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26746159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinksoulCustard/pseuds/PinksoulCustard
Summary: After Starscream was left at the mercy of the Predacons, things begin to change. Regrets resurface, and he begins to question his quest for revenge. Will Starscream be able to move past his errors, or is it too little too late?
Relationships: Bumblebee & Starscream, Knock Out/Starscream (Transformers), Sideswipe & Windblade (Transformers)
Comments: 54
Kudos: 118





	1. Scrapped and Abandoned

**Author's Note:**

> So like I'll try to keep everyone in character, but it's going to be hard, especially with Starscream. But I'm trying guys.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read and see.

Immobile. He couldn't move an inch.

It was lucky he did not need oxygen to survive, for the mech had been holding his breath for quite some time. He was doing his best to ignore the searing pain he felt spreading around his entire body, tuning out the sound of his Energon dripping onto the floor and the growling that came from the Predacons. It took all his remaining strength to lie completely still as if his spark had been snuffed out.

As if he were dead.

He was badly wounded. Scrapped. His wings had been torn and shredded, and his chassis was covered in deep gashes with Energon pooling underneath them. One of his optics had been clawed out, and his left leg was bent unnaturally. As much as he wanted to wail in agony and try to squirm away from the Predacons, he urged himself to stay still.

He waited.

He waited until the growling of the Predacons began to fade, sounding further and further away. Until, silence.

He wanted to look, to confirm the Predacons had left him alone. But he didn’t dare. It could be a trick. To make him believe he was safe, letting his guard down and then terminating him for good.

It wasn’t until he heard Predaking’s voice commanding the other Predacons to leave him here to rust that he knew he should continue to wait. He waited, hearing their wings flap as they left him there. Scrapped and abandoned.

He waited.

He waited until he knew if he didn’t act soon, he would die from Energon loss. He shakily sunk his claws into the wall next to him, whimpering as he dragged himself up. His broken leg scraped along the hall as he made his way down to where he believed the med Bay was. He hadn't been at Darkmount for several thousand years, so his memory of the place was foggy. But he wouldn’t die. He didn’t keep himself alive this long just to die in this way. Scrapped and abandoned.

He got to the med bay, punching the control and dragging himself inside. He scanned the room with his one functioning optic and found just what he’d been hoping for. His body was beyond repair. But even after all these years, it was still here, and it was the only thing that would save his spark. With trembling servos, he opened the pod, wincing as it hissed open. He grabbed the larger chassis, urging his broken form to hold out a little longer. He laid the chassis down on a medical berth and plugged in a tube just like one would during a cortical psychic patch. He grabbed an IV connected to a bag of Energon, and connected it to the chassis and made sure the Energon was flowing into the body. Then he connected another tube to a separated berth. He laid himself on the berth, and with the rest of his remaining strength, pushed a small button. Then everything went dark.

He woke with a start.

His eyes were groggy, his vision blurry. Soon, it cleared, and he nearly jumped off the berth when he saw his scrapped body on a berth next to him. Was he dead? He turned his head around and noticed he was plugged to an IV. He let out a sigh of relief. So he wasn’t dead. Which meant…

“It worked”, he said, then began taking in deep breaths as a shaky smile spread across his face, “I’m alive… I’m alive!”.

He let out a nervous laugh, but it soon died down. He let out a sigh of relief. He survived. His plan was successful. It worked. He just lay there for a few blissful moments, savouring the fact he was alive.

But soon, his relief turned into bitterness. Megatron. He’d left him here. Left him to be torn by those revenge-crazed creatures. He’d left him, after everything he did for his master. **Former** master. He scowled, clenching his servos tightly.

Megatron would pay.

He would pay for everything he did to him. For beating him. For infiltrating his mind. For tossing him aside when his beloved Shockwave returned. And for abandoning him. For leaving him to the Predacons, knowing exactly what they’d do to him. For not sparing a thought that he would leave his former second in command to suffer such a fate. He would regret leaving him like this. Scrapped and abandoned.


	2. Log Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream keeps a log. It gets out of hand.

“Log date 1:  
I am currently leaving Cybertron… again. And I am on the search for my Ma– for Megatron. I have managed to gather all the remaining Energon reserves from Dark Mount and taken one of the ships docked below. So far everything is going along smoothly, and I am sure that I will find him sooner or later. And when I do, I will make him pay for his many crimes against me. Nothing else to report. Starscream out.”  
…  
“Log date 13:  
It has been 13 solar cycles since I have left Cybertron and have begun to search. There is no sign of my former master just yet, but I must remain patient. I know that sooner or later, Megatron will slip up. And I’ll be there to make sure he stays down, permanently. Then, I will cement my reign as the true leader of the Decepticons, and gather our forces to reclaim Cybertron. Now I must check to make sure the ship is in order. That’s the one downside to being alone. You have to do everything yourself, but then again I always did other bot’s work eh? Starscream out.”.  
…  
“Log date 32:  
It has been an Orbital cycle. Megatron has still evaded me, but I know I will find him at some point. I have stopped by a nearby planet which appears to have some Energon reserves. Luckily and unluckily, there isn’t a Bot or Con in sight. Well, that is good news. Means my reserves will hold up longer till I can find another reserve somewhere. I must check into the med bay for… reasons. Starscream out.”.  
…

Log date 192:  
Six Orbital cycles. No signal yet. I’ve passed an asteroid belt with minimal damage to the ship, which I have fixed myself. Again. It does get tiresome doing this all by myself, but it’s none the matter. I will find Megatron, and then this will be over. I need to make sure the ship is in perfect condition before I can take off again. Starscream… out.”.  
…  
Log date 640:  
Nothing. Went to another Energon reserve. Not a fragging mech in sight. Just more fragging Energon. And Megatron is still out there. But I will find him… somehow. I must. Then this miserable torture will be worth it. I’m going now. Scrap to do. Starscream out.”.  
…  
“Log date 1828? 1838?  
Frag it. I’ve lost count. Doesn’t matter. Fragging Megatron is nowhere. How can a mech that big just vanish?! Where is he?! I just– my processor aches. I need to recharge. I have no indication of time anymore, but it doesn’t matter. I just need to find him. That’s all that matters. Not this fragging feeling in my spark, not this drowning silence, not this urge to rip the spark from my chamber! None of it fragging matters! Whatever. Just, Starscream out.”.  
…  
“I’m losing my fragging processor! This is fragging mad! I’m so stupid! I’m such a… maybe Megatron was right. Maybe I am just wasting my– no! Don’t think that! That’s just what that slagger wants you to think. Just… talk. Yes, talk to it. That’s all you need to do… oh! Um. Well, Starscream out.”.  
…  
“Log date– frag it. It doesn’t matter anymore. Megatron was right, and I was wrong. But still… only finding Megatron will bring me what I want. That’s all I have left. My hatred for him and that hope that I will get back at him. I will get my revenge, even if it drives me mad. Only that will bring me peace. Only justice will bring peace. And even if it means returning here… then so be it. Megatron, I’m coming for you. Starscream out.”.  
…  
He took a shaky gulp, steering the ship down into the planet’s atmosphere. He went slowly so as to not burn the ship up. After what felt like megacycles, the ship touched the planet’s ground.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He moved away from the command console and towards the glass. He looked out onto the native wildlife, letting out a sad sigh. Fifteen. Fifteen stellar cycles of searching for Megatron with no result. And now he was here.

Earth.

Everything seems to come full circle, and Starscream didn’t like the sound of that. Full circle meant it was ending, and Starscream was not in the mood to hear about his end.

Not after what happened on Dark Mount.

He had escaped with a sliver of a chance of survival, and he was not about to let all the scrap he went through have been for nothing. He didn’t suffer alone on this ship, slowly losing his mind just for his journey to come to an abrupt end.

At least now there were no Autobots. He was alone. He was at peace.

For the first time in stellar cycles, Starscream smiled. Not one of malice or sarcasm. A genuine, blissful smile.

He was happy. For now.


	3. Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Russell and Fix-It find something out of the ordinary.

Bumblebee was back on Earth. And now, Optimus Prime had given him and his team a mission.

When he, Strongarm and Sideswipe had arrived on Earth, they’d met Fix-it, the guard aboard the Alchemor. Then, they added a new member to their team; a Dinobot called Grimlock. They had also become friends with the humans Denny and Russell, who gave them shelter in a scrapyard.

His team had endured many tests and fought against numerous Decepticon criminals, and succeeded.

They also met another Bot by the name of Drift, and he joined their group along with his students Slipstream and Jetstorm.

The team was faring well and had recently recaptured the Decepticon criminal Chop-Shop. Currently, Bumblebee had returned from patrol. He greeted Denny and Russell, then made his way to where Fix-It was checking the database.

"Hey Fix-It," he said, "No new Decepticon activity I hope.".

Fix-It shook his head. "Nothing yet, Lieutenant," he confirmed, "though I did want to ask if you would let me go on this small fission– addition– mission!".

"Well, what's the mission?" Bumblebee asked. "I wanted to make sure we do have all the pods for the Decepticons," Fix-It said, "you know, so we don't run out of pods.".

Bumblebee nodded. "Would you like some backup?" he asked, and Fix-It let out a small chuckle. "I don't think that will be necessary Lieutenant," he said, "But I would like to request Denny Clay to accompany me.". "Understood," Bumblebee responded, "I'll go check if he's free.". Then, Bumblebee transformed and went to look for Denny.

He found Denny and his son Russell talking nearby and went up to them. "Sorry to interrupt you two," Bumblebee said.

"Oh it's no problem Bee," Denny said, walking up to the black and yellow sports car, "what can I help you with?". "Fix-It was wondering if you could come with him to scout the area for stasis pods," he answered.

"Sorry Bee, but I can't be out too long," Denny said, "I've got a customer coming in a few hours and I can't reschedule. But Russell could go.".

"Russell, that okay with you?" Bumblebee asked the boy, and Russel shrugged in response.

"Eh, why not?" he said, "got nothing else to do."

"Great," Bumblebee said, "well I'd better get back out there, the Cons have been a little too quiet lately.". With that, Bumblebee sped off.

When he had left the scrapyard's premises, Russell made his way to the command centre to meet up with Fix-It before their departure.

Russell was starting to regret his decision to come along with Fix-It.

The minicon was rambling and glitching about boring stories of his time aboard the Alchemor as they trudged through the forest, finding nothing but trees, mud, and grass. Russell groaned, hoping things would become interesting before he died of boredom. He spoke too soon.

Not a moment later, Fix-It's screen popped up, signalling several alerts. "What's wrong?" Russell asked, worried when he saw the minicon's alert expression.

"It can't be!" he said, "my scanners read a foreign Cybertronian signal in these woods!".

"Could it be a Decepticon?!" Russell said anxiously, "Should we call Bee?".

Fix-It shook his head. "There is no need to get Lieutenant Bumblebee involved just yet," Fix-It assured, "after all, the scanner could be faulty, and the Lieutenant doesn't need to be bothered in a wild goose chase. We can investigate the signal. No need to start fights if there isn't a need for one.". Russell nodded, following Fix-It.

Okay, maybe calling the Lieutenant wasn't such a bad idea.

Fix-It and Russell had followed the signal, and now the two were face to face with a Warship. And due to its appearance and the large symbol plastered on the side, Fix-It could tell it was of Decepticon origin.

But before he could tell Russell that now would be a good time to call for backup, Fix-It realised too late the boy had run to the warship and had to run after him. Fix-It tried to call Russel back, but the boy had already gone inside.

The minicon had no choice but to go in after him.

Right into a giant warship, that belonged to a Decepticon criminal, who would skewer them for intruding his ship and messing with whatever evil plans he was scheming.

Fix-It gulped but reminded himself he had weapons to defend Russell and himself. He could do this.

He went aboard the ship and found Russell wandering the ship's halls.

"Russel!" Fix-It shout-whispered, "we should get out of here and call the Lieutenant!".

Russell looked back at Fix-It and beckoned him by waving his hand. "Come on Fix!" he said, "a small peek won't hurt.".

"B-but," the minicon said, trembling.

Russell came over to the minicon and gave him a reassuring look. "Look, I promise if it gets too dangerous, we'll call Bee," he said, "promise.". Fix-It, still unsure but knowing the boy wouldn't change his mind, nodded.

"This is still a bad idea," the minicon said, never dropping his guard.

But Russell wasn't paying attention. He was too focused admiring the ship. They didn't go into any rooms, per Fix-It's pleading, but Russell was content just being able to explore the ship.

They were coming up towards a room with no doors, from which they heard a voice.

The voice sounded tired as if whoever it belonged to hadn't slept in ages. "– unable to find anything that could indicate his presence on this planet," said the voice, "and since my Energon reserves are running low, I am stuck on this planet until I find more.".

Russell came closer to the voice, curious. Fix-It cursed human curiosity as he followed the boy. Russell peered into the room and saw a large mech. The mech was multicoloured, with a red torso and abdomen, grey arms till the elbows, the rest was blue except for grey clawed servos, white and black legs, and blue heeled peds. He had a black helmet, with strange symmetrical spikes, but Russell couldn't see the mech's face due to the mech facing away from him. The mech also had a pair of grey wings with greyish blue and red details. And stamped on each was the purple symbol of the Decepticons.

"Despite this problem," the mech said, speaking into a screen, "I am beginning to question if the search for my former master is worth the trouble.".

And then, Russell made a huge mistake.

He stepped into the room and walked closer to the mech. Fix-It's panic escalated, and he rushed into the room to grab Russell and leave before the Decepticon saw them. Just then, an alarm rang out. "Scrap.".

The Decepticon turned around, his red optics boring into Fix-It's blue ones.

The minicon's grip on Russel's arm tightened. Then, he spun off and ran, Russel running beside him. The Con shook out of his confusion, turning back to the console and pressing a button.

"Intruders: detected," said a robotic voice, "lockdown mode: Initiated.".

Then, the Con went in the direction the other two went, chasing after them.

"I told you this was a bad idea!" squealed Fix-It as they ran through the halls of the ship and to where the exit was.

Russell didn't say anything. Instead, he ran faster. He heard large pedsteps behind him, and he knew the Con was after them. "Fix-It, he's following us!" Russell yelled, running as fast as he could. "Scrap Scrap Scrap!" the minicon swore, "we're nearly at the doors!".

Then his spark sank.

There would be no escape with the doors shut. "We're trapped!" Fix-It yelped, turning around to try and find another way out only to slam into a large ped.

"Yes, you are.".

Fix-It shakily looked up, yelping and rolling backwards when his optics met the red ones of the mech. The mech was scowling, but his weapons remained at his sides. "What are you doing on my ship minicon," he said to Fix-It, before turning his attention to Russell, "and with a human pet.".

"I'm no one's pet Con!" Russell retorted before Fix-It shoved him aside.

"P-please pardon the human's dispersed– coerced– outburst!" Fix-It said, trying to appease the mech, "I mean, we all know humans can be a little, uh, irrational!". He added a nervous chuckle, hoping the mech would reconsider crushing them under his ped.

"You didn't answer my question, minicon," the mech snarled, "What are you doing on my ship?". Fix-It swore he recognized his voice, but his description fits none of the prisoners on the Alchemor's list.

"Oh, um– wait," the minicon said, "Y-you're Starscream aren't you?! B-but your visual description does not match the ones in my database. Have you been, 'working out'?". The mech looked at the minicon, surprised that someone knew him. "It's a long story," Starscream said, crossing his arms, "now answer my question.".

"We're not answering anything Con!" Russell snapped, and Fix-It had to hold the boy back before he did anything stupid. Starscream just rolled his eyes and didn't shoot Russell into oblivion like Fix-It thought he would.

“Pardon him!” Fix-It squeaked, “to answer your question, I am just a guard on a prison ship. I got stranded here and this human is a friend of mine. B-but we don’t want to cause any trouble with you.”.

It wasn’t a total lie. He just didn’t mention that he was with a group of Autobots. Fix-It gave a nervous smile, hoping the Con wouldn’t ask for more information.

Russell had other ideas.

“Yeah! And we’re friends with Bumblebee!” Russell spat, ignoring Fix-It’s horrified look, “and if you do anything to us, you’ll regret it!”.

The Con’s eyes widened, feeling like someone had punched him in the spark chamber.

“Bumblebee?!” he shouted, “Bumblebee is here too?!”. Fix-It gulped, teeth chattering, and Russell realized his error.

Just then, Starscream let out a curse so vigorous, Fix-It felt the need to cover Russell’s ears.

“Why can't these damn Autobots leave me alone?!” he yelled, and Russell could tell the question was rhetorical. “I’m not even doing anything to them and yet they still have to bother me!” he screamed angrily, though Russell could hear his voice crack.

Starscream was silent for a long time, before punching a button on the side of the wall. The doors snapped open with a hiss, and Russell turned around to see their way out.

“Leave,” Starscream spat, “just… leave me alone.”.

Russell heard… sadness in the mech’s voice. The mech turned his head to look at Russell, and Russell quickly noticed how tired the mech looked. There were dark circles under his optics, his metal brows were loosely furrowed, and his frown wasn’t malicious, but disheartened. Fix-It grabbed Russell’s arm, and he reluctantly followed the minicon off the warship. He gave one last glance towards Starscream, but the mech’s head had turned away once again.

Once the two were off the ship, Starscream punched the button again and the doors closed.

When the two were off the ship and the doors were closed, Starscream walked down the hall to the med bay, pedsteps echoing throughout the lonely halls of the warship. He pressed the button on the wall, and the doors opened into the med bay. He entered, laying down on a medical berth next to his old chassis. “Hey,” he said hoarsely, “haven’t talked to you for a while huh?”.

The chassis didn’t respond. Starscream didn’t expect it to. But talking to it helped. It was nice to have something listening to him.

He talked to it about what had just happened. How he was running low on Energon, wondering if this quest for revenge was really worth it, about the minicon and the human, about Bumblebee being on this planet. He rambled about other nonsense, just enjoying the feeling of being able to vent to something after all these years of keeping it to himself. For millennia he had to hide his emotions, hide care for others. Caring was weak, and the weak had no place in the Decepticons. Megatron had told him that. And it was true. He cared for two bots, and they both betrayed him. He learned to stop caring, stop emoting, not even in his own mind. His own mind wasn’t safe from Megatron. He’d made that painfully obvious when Starscream had returned to the Decepticons. There was nothing he could hide from Megatron. He’d broken him.

And then, he found himself rambling about something he hadn’t delved on for several years.

Cliffjumper’s death, and his failed attempt to join the Autobots.

“I was serious, you know,” he said, “about joining them, the Autobots. There was no place for me in the Decepticons anymore, not after that wretched Arachnid wormed her way into Megatron’s good books. And the Autobots seemed to cooperate and be content with each other’s presence. Arcee responded when that scout looked down on her attempt to terminate me. I admit, I would have never thought twice before terminating another, no matter how many disappointed or horrified looks I got.”.

At that Starscream’s frown deepened.

He had killed an Autobot without mercy, and as much as he willed himself, he still didn’t regret terminating Cliffjumper.

He no longer considered it a major achievement, due to more selfish reasons than actual distaste for his actions, but he didn’t feel guilty for having the mech’s Energon on his hands. It was only after he had been left at the mercy of Predacons, helpless and being held down as he was torn apart, that he no longer took joy in remembering that he inflicted that torment on another. But since he didn’t know Cliffjumper all that well, and he actually had a large distaste for the mech, he didn’t feel regret for his demise.

He was getting off-topic.

“I screwed up,” he said, chuckling bitterly, “I could have been one of them, won the war and not have to suffer the wrath of Predacons. But I and my big mouth had to ruin it. I just had to blurt out my so-called ‘achievement’ to the bot who called Cliffjumper her ‘partner’. How foolish of me. How… cruel of me.”.

He let that last part slip out unintentionally, partially shocked at his own words.

He was Starscream, a cold, calculative mech who used twisted lies and emotional manipulation to get his way. He would scheme and plan every little thing so that everything went the way he wanted. He’d killed many mechs without hesitation and had even tried to terminate his own master if it meant more power. He was greedy, cold-hearted and self-serving.

He knew this, and he relished it. Relished that others saw him this way because it made him feel as if he was recognized as something other than Megatron’s subordinate.

Starscream, the cold-calculated liar who rose to power through his schemes and held one of the highest positions in the Decepticon ranks. That’s how he wanted to be known.

Not as Starscream, the coward who Megatron beat senseless. Starscream, the lesser mech, who could never be Megatron.

And yet… he had admitted to his cruelty… and was not pleased with it. It was weird. All these years drifting through space in search of Megatron had left him feeling conflicted. Memories resurfaced, mostly regrets of his. He regretted things he didn’t think he ever would. Cliffjumper, of course, was one he didn’t care much for, but just the fact he seemed to no longer saw it as a triumph surprised him.

A sudden thought entered his head. “Do you think–?” he stopped himself there. He let out a dry chuckle instead. “No,” he said, “that’s a silly thought to have. That could never happen.”.

Starscream tried to ignore the small whisper in the back of his mind.

_Could it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I oop- But like seriously I spent too long on this chapter.


	4. Truth Uncovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Fix-It and Russell have found Starscream, what is their course of action?

Fix-It was running, dragging Russell behind him. He’d just been face to face with one of the most notorious Decepticons in Cybertronian history, and he was in no way relishing the moment.

“Fix-It slow down!” Russell said.

“Slow down?! Slow down?!” Fix-It yelled, fright very evident in his voice, “we were just at the mercy of the Decepticon second in command, and you want me to slow down?! At any moment he could change his mind about letting us go and grind us into powder!”.

“But he let us go Fix-It!” Russell retorted, “why go through all the trouble of letting us go just to hunt us down again!”.

“Russell you don’t understand how dangerous that was!” Fix-It said sternly, “Starscream was a Decepticon known for trickery and treachery. Some considered him more dangerous than Megatron due to how well he could manipulate and twist everything to his favour. He gains the trust of bots and then stabs them in the back, and then he uses cowardly tactics to avoid termination. Megatron made him second in command for a reason, and it wasn’t because Starscream was a kind-hearted and honourable mech.”.

“B-but,” Russell tried to find something to say, but Fix-It paid him no attention, beginning to mumble in a frenzied panic.

“This is bad! This is really bad!” Fix-It said, pacing around in circles. “We need to tell the Lieutenant what happened,” Fix-It said, nodding curtly.

“But Starscream said he wanted to be left alone,” Russell interjected, “shouldn’t we leave him? He really looked like he wanted to be left alone.”.

“Russell, leaving Starscream alone can cause us a scrap ton of problems,” Fix-It argued back, “and we already have enough to worry about with Steeljaw and his pack. We don’t need the Decepticon second-in-command to terrorize Earth as well.”.

“But what if Starscream was telling the truth?!” Russell said, desperately trying to change the minicon’s mind, “what if he does just want to be left alone? What if he isn’t going to bother us?”.

The minicon shook his head.

“Russell, even with the slim chance that the biggest liar of all the Decepticons was telling the truth, Steeljaw could just as easily convince him to join their side,” he said, “remember just how easily he convinced all those other Cons to join him? He could offer Starscream something in return for joining him, and the next thing you know they’ve added another to their ranks. Starscream is too dangerous, too unpredictable to just leave to his own devices. We need to bring him in where he can’t harm anyone else ever again.”.

Russell wanted to argue back, but there seemed to be nothing else he could say. The minicon had made valid points with facts and evidence, while Russell was holding on to the slimmest of possibilities.

“Alright Fix-It,” Russell said defeatedly, “we’ll tell Bee about Starscream.”.

When the two returned to the scrapyard, they were flooded with questions.

“Where were you two? It’s been way too long for just a short trip to look for pods,” Sideswipe said, and Strongarm nodded.

“Fix-It, why didn’t you answer my comms?” Bumblebee said, concern showing on his face.

Fix-It and Russell glanced at each other. They both nodded.

“Well Lieutenant,” he stated, “there’s been a development. While I and Russell were scouting the area, my scanners picked up a foreign Decepticon signal in the woods.”.

“One of Steeljaw’s goons?” asked Sideswipe. To everyone’s surprise, Fix-it shook his head.

“Actually, the signal was not one that originated from any prisoner on the Alchemor,” he said, “and when I went to investigate, just checking if it was a glitch, I found a Decepticon warship.”.

Bumblebee’s eyes widened in shock, and Sideswipe’s mouth fell wide open.

“And I was ready to call back up until I realised Russell had entered the warship,” Fix-It said, “and I had to make sure Russell did not get into any trouble. And that’s when we ran into a Decepticon.”.

Bumblebee couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“A Decepticon?! In a warship?!” Bumblebee asked, a hint of panic in his voice.

No… there was no way either of them could be here, on Earth. Shockwave hadn’t been heard of in years, and Starscream had been… terminated by the Predacons. It couldn’t be them.

“Fix-It, did you manage to identify the Decepticon? Or anything that could lead us to recognize him?”.

“I actually managed to identify the Decepticon, and it was further confirmed by the con himself,” Fix-It said, “now this might come as a shock Lieutenant–”.

“Fix-It please tell me who it was,” Bumblebee interrupted. He needed to know his suspicion wasn’t true.

But what Fix-It said next only confirmed it.

“Starscream, Lieutenant,” he said, “the Decepticon was Starscream.”.

Bumblebee was speechless. Starscream… was alive? But the Predacons had returned from Dark Mount covered in his Energon, and Bumblebee remembered Darksteel and Skylynx chuckling about how the mech had lived up to his name and screamed like a sparkling.

But yet here Fix-It was, confirming he had been face to face with the former second-in-command.

“Starscream?!” Sideswipe yelled, “as in **The** Starscream?! Air Commander and Second in Command of the Decepticon Army?! Megatron’s right-hand bot?! **That** Starscream?!”.

Everyone gave him a look.

“What?!” Sideswipe said, raising his servos in defence, “he’s a big deal!”.

Strongarm mumbled something along the lines of Sideswipe being a ‘fan-bot’, to which the mech retorted with an ‘Am not!’.

Fix-It nodded. “Yes Sideswipe,” the minicon said, “that Starscream.”.

“How did you manage to escape?” Drift asked, his voice monotone and his expression unreadable.

Russel answered. “He let us go,” he said, “and he didn’t raise his weapons or threaten us at all.”.

When the words came out of Russell's mouth, Bumblebee nearly gasped. His eyes widened in shock, and his lip plates parted slightly.

"Starscream… Let you go?" Bumblebee asked, baffled.

Russell nodded.

"That's not like him," Bumblebee said, shaking his helm slightly, "Starscream wouldn't do anything unless he directly benefits from it. It doesn't make any sense.".

"What if Starscream let them go to track down our base?" Grimlock asked, trying to help come up with a reason for the Decepticon's odd actions.

Strongarm shook her head. "Negative," she said, "if he wanted to find us he could have just used Russell and Fix-It as bait or bargain material to lure us in and trap us.".

Denny came forward, looking up at Bumblebee. "What if this Starscream guy just let them go for the sake of it?" he asked.

Bumblebee wanted to yell at him that he was crazy but reminded himself that Denny had never confronted Starscream or heard about the Decepticon at all. He shook his head instead.

"There's no way," he said, not willing to believe that possibility, "Starscream only cares about himself. He's self-serving and uncaring. He has to have some ulterior motive for letting you go.".

Bumblebee took a step forward, making sure all eyes were on him for his next statement. "And now that we are aware of Starscream's presence, he's too dangerous to be left alone," he stated, "we have to go after him and capture him.".

Russell wanted to argue.

"But Bee," he started, hoping he could at least change Bumblebee's mind, "Starscream said he wanted to be left alone, and he looked really sad. Maybe you should just leave him alone. Maybe he won't hurt anyone.".

Bumblebee looked Russell in the eyes, seeing genuine hope for the Decepticon. Bee felt bad he had to crush that hope.

He kneeled until he and Russell were nearly face to face. "Russell," he said, his expression serious but understanding, "I know you mean well, and you are trying to see the good in Starscream. But you don't know him as I do. The things he's done, the lives he's taken… He can't be trusted. We have to make sure he can never hurt anyone else ever again.".

At that, he remembered Cliffjumper. Starscream always gloated about killing his friend, and he was disgusted about how he used it as a badge of honour. They'd given Starscream a chance before, and he'd denied it and sided with the Cons when the time came.

Russell looked down, clearly upset by Bumblebee's statement. Fix-It came up behind him, putting a servo on his back to reassure him. Bumblebee stood up and addressed the members of his team.

"Autobots," he began.

Sideswipe rolled his eyes, and Strongarm shoved him slightly. "Let's seek out a seeker!" he said, posing dramatically and pointing.

Silence.

"Another epic fail," Sideswipe mumbled. "Get it?" Bee said, desperately trying to save the situation, "Because Starscream used to be an Energon… Seeker?". No one reacted.

"Alright just transform please," Bee said defeatedly. His team transformed and raced off towards the coordinates provided by Fix-It.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bee is trying. So is Russell. And like, both are failing. Miserably. Sorry boys


	5. Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream wants to join Bumblebee's team and to achieve his goal.

"Hello, Bumblebee," Starscream said, fidgeting with his digits, "so, uh, I know you must be surprised to see me here. But uh, I, uh, I was uh, wondering if, uh, well you see, I uh, the thing is that I want to uh, change, you know? Like, to be good. I mean I thought I was good before, but now I realize I was bad. But, uh, anyways, you see I also have experience in flight and am a pretty good fighter in the sky. I mean you've seen me… when I was attacking you and destroying your base… yeah I should apologize for that. But I was wondering if this time, you would allow me to join… the Autobots.". He squeezed him optics shut, slightly peeking one open.

The small fluffy winged creature cooed, tilting its head at an angle.

"Well?!" he said, "What's your answer?!".

Promptly, the creature flew onto his helm and began pecking at it before flying off.

Starscream sagged.

"Yeah," he said disheartened, "I think that would be my answer as well.". He growled in frustration, kicking at a tree. "Who am I kidding?!" he yelled, dropping to the ground, "like they'd buy that. From any other Con, maybe. But from me? They'd probably get a good laugh before tossing me into the first prison ship back to Cybertron. I knew this was stupid.".

Starscream tried to think.

He had a way with words, he could weave anything he wanted, make grandiose speeches loaded with lies, but now that he was being honest he sounded like a buffoon. How did Knockout manage to gain their trust?

Immediately after that thought, Starscream felt a pang of pain in his spark.

Knockout… the medic had been the closest thing Starscream had had as a friend on the Nemesis. And then… something else. It was weird. Starscream didn't get 'feelings'. So like everyone else, he pushed Knockout away. And he had managed to push him all the way to the other faction. That was another thing he found himself regretting. Why did he always push away those who wanted to help him? What was his malfunction?

He shook his head.

It was getting late. He should return to the ship, he didn't want to chase out any more of those furry four-legged earth creatures out of his ship. He got up and began walking back to his ship. He convinced himself to work on his 'redemption speech' (more like him trying not to get beaten to death by reasonably angry Autobots). He also hoped that Arcee wasn't on Earth. Then he really wouldn't have a chance. Not after what happened back near the Harbinger.

He sighed, staring up at the sky. There were stars, millions of them. They dotted the dark sky, brightening it in a mesmerising way. He missed the sky. Missed the thrill he felt as the wind would whip past him and how he could see everything. He had been stripped of flight once, when those humans had stolen his T-Cog, and now he was grounded once more. He missed flying, it was one of the things he enjoyed the most. During the war, there were moments where he could get away and just fly off into the night sky. Megatron didn't exactly care much about the seeker, and any time he suspected Starscream of plotting against him he'd simply let Soundwave investigate it. After all, he wasn't 'worth' Megatron's time.

He scowled.

Starscream still hated his former master for how he treated him. He told himself if he ever saw Megatron again, he would get revenge. But he just wouldn't search for him. He'd just wait and see. Like he always did. In the meantime, he had to focus on finding a way to convince Bumblebee that he wanted to join their team. Starscream acknowledges his flaws, that he has committed terrible crimes, and that Bumblebee will hate him for it.

He was used to being hated.

But if he could find redemption, if he could find a way to regret and repent, maybe, just maybe he could be better. He could wrench away these ideas he had instilled while in the Decepticon ranks. If he tried to redeem himself, he could be happy. And now, that’s all Starscream wanted. Happiness, and eventually, acceptance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starscream trynna pulling a 'Hello, Zuko here.'. Also, I know it's kinda short but bare with me.


	6. On the Ship

There were millions of questions going through Bumblebee’s head. How had Starscream survived? What had he been doing all this time? Why was he on Earth? And most importantly, why did he let Russell and Fix-It go? It felt out of character, unlike anything the Decepticon second-in-command would do.

Bee was even wondering if maybe, just maybe, Russell was right and Starscream had a change of heart.

 _No_ , he thought, _there has to be something else_.

Bee just couldn’t admit it. After all Starscream had but him and Team Prime through, Bumblebee could not let it slide. Starscream murdered Cliffjumper without sparing another thought, and he cared about no one. Any time he helped them, it was only for his own benefit. There wasn’t a shred of good in that mech. And all Bee wanted was to lock Starscream away so he couldn’t harm another Bot ever again.

He shook out of these thoughts. They weren’t important right now. Finding Starscream was.

“Are we there yet?” Sideswipe groaned, “we’ve been driving forever. Jeez just where did this guy park his ship?”.

Bumblebee transformed back, landing on his pedes. The rest of his team transformed back, except for Grimlock. He checked the coordinates again and saw they were nearly there.

“Not far from here,” he said, then motioned for his team to follow him.

They trudged through the forest, weapons raised and battle masks snapped tightly over lip plates. Bumblebee looked past a tree, eyes widening in shock at the sight of a warship nearly as large as the Nemesis. And in that ship was Starscream. Bee looked back at his team, battle mask retracting.

“Okay team, here’s what we’ll do,” he said, “we get in quietly, make sure Starscream doesn’t notice us, find him, and then we capture him. Understood?”.

His team nodded, and Bee pressed on, walking towards the warship. He put one pede down on the ship’s stairs, and when nothing happened, he began cautiously walking up the stairs. His team followed suit, their pedes treading lightly on the metal. Soon, Bumblebee stepped into the ship.

It looked just like the Nemesis, ever so menacing. But it also felt… lonely. Bee snapped out of it, walking into the ship and motioning for his team to do the same.

“Alright team,” he said, “We should split up to cover more ground.”.

“Strongarm, Drift and Grimlock, you three check the rooms closer to the command centre. Sideswipe, you and I will check the rooms closer to the entrance. If you hear anything, comm me immediately. Starscream isn’t your average Decepticon. He’s slippery and tricky. If we lose him now, we may never get the chance to bring him to justice.”. His team nodded, and they split.

Bumblebee’s helm turned to the right, and he saw a dark grey door. He motioned Sideswipe, who nodded and snapped his battle mask over his faceplate. Bumblebee pressed the button next to the wall, and the door hissed open.

Then, Sideswipe screamed.

Bee barely had time to register the image in front of him when Sideswipe let out a screech of pure terror. He turned his head towards Sideswipe, looking at the horrified mech.

Sideswipe looked back at Bumblebee, shaking his helm and out of his daze. “Sorry about that,” he said, “but…”.

“I know,” Bee said, “that was quite a shock for me too.”.

He turned his helm back to look at the scene before him. Starscream's torn chassis was laid on a medical berth, and the damage made the Energon in Bumblebee grow cold.

It had several deep gashes strewn across its chest plate, profound indentations that looked like bite marks were on the mech’s legs, and Bee saw one of the legs was bent in an unnatural position. Starscream’s right optic had also been clawed out, and…

by Primus his _wings_.

The thing Starscream had prided himself over the most, his wings, had been torn, bent, broken, ripped apart. One of the smaller wings had been snapped in half, and one of the larger wings had a large chunk missing, and judging by the dentate marks the wing must have been bitten off.

Bumblebee was horrified.

So this is what the Predacons had done to Starscream. Two emotions welled up inside him he never thought he’d feel for the seeker.

Pity and guilt.

The pain he must have endured… it didn’t feel right. Even for someone as cold-hearted as Starscream. But if his chassis was here…

He didn’t have time to delve into the theory as he heard his commlink activate. “Lieutenant,” Strongarm said, “you might want to come to the command centre.”. “Understood, me and Sideswipe are on our way.”. Bumblebee walked away from the medbay, sparing one last glance back at the torn chassis before heading towards the command centre.

When they arrived, they saw Strongarm and Drift near a command console, while Grimlock was looking around corners, as if Starscream would jump out of nowhere.

“What is it, Strongarm?” he asked.

“Well sir,” she started, “we managed to enter the command console without triggering alarms, and found something of interest in the console.”.

“It appears that Starscream has kept a series of recordings,” Drift said, “and they seem like a log.”.

“Play me a recording,” Bumblebee said, eyeing the command console.

Drift nodded, pressing a button. Immediately, an audio box popped up, and Starscream’s voice came out of it.

“Log date 13: It has been 13 solar cycles since I have left Cybertron and have begun to search.”

Starscream sounded confident in the recording, his voice somewhat robotic. “There is no sign of my former master just yet, but I must remain patient. I know that sooner or later, Megatron will slip up. And I’ll be there to make sure he stays down, permanently.”

That sent a small chill down Bumblebee’s spine. So Starscream was searching for Megatron so that he could kill him. Bee didn’t know why that surprised him, but it probably had to do with the seeker’s outburst back when Bumblebee had killed Megatron. The seeker had sworn vengeance and had to be held back by Shockwave before he did anything reckless.

But Bumblebee just suspected Starscream was back to his old ways. As usual.

“Then, I will cement my reign as the true leader of the Decepticons, and gather our forces to reclaim Cybertron. Now I must check to make sure the ship is in order. That’s the one downside to being alone. You have to do everything yourself, but then again I always did other bot’s work eh? Starscream out.”

Bumblebee knew it. Starscream was back to his old tricks. Bumblebee shouldn’t have felt shocked, but he did. At least now he knew. Starscream was always a power-hungry, selfish, cold-hearted and greedy Decepticon. Nothing had changed. Once a Con, Bumblebee thought, always a Con.

“This recording proves it,” Bumblebee said, “Starscream is a threat to Cybertron, and he must be captured at all costs.”

There was a clang behind him. Every bot turned around towards the entrance to the command centre. There stood a mech, bright red eyes wide in shock, lip plates pressed tightly together. And on each of his wings, was stamped the purple logo of the Decepticons.

“Well, uh,” the Decepticon said, with a voice Bumblebee instantly recognized, “I see you’re already here. So, uh, Bumblebee, nice to see you again?”.

Bumblebee pulled out his weapon and shot in Starscream’s direction.

The seeker yelled, jumping out of the way and leaving a scorch mark where the blast registered. Starscream did what he did best. He ran.

“After him!” Bumblebee shouted, breaking into a run, his team following suit.

They were fast, but Starscream was faster. He reached the end of the corridor, immediately punching the button next to the ship doors. He leapt and rolled down the stairs as they began to go up. He did one final jump, landing on the grass harshly.

Bumblebee tried to catch up, but the doors snapped shut right in front of him. He banged his servos on the door, trying to open it. No such luck.  
Meanwhile, back outside, Starscream got back up and ran deep into the woods.

With his servos clenched and his optics squeezed shut, Bumblebee let out a yell of frustration.


	7. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are formulated. Some good, some bad.

The scrapyard was quiet. Too quiet. As his eyes scanned the perimeter, there wasn’t an Autobot or Dinobot in sight. Perfect. He looked back at the rest of his team, a smirk on his faceplates. 

“It appears the Autobots aren’t home,” he said, “and I think we have waited long enough to make our move.”. 

“Slaggin’ finally!” the horned Decepticon yelled, rolling his optics, “thought we’d never go through with dis plan of yours Steeljaw!”. 

Steeljaw chuckled. “Patience is key, brother.”.

Thunderhoof grunted, crossing his arms. “Let’s just get dis show on the run.”. 

Steeljaw grinned, pointing at the scrapyard. “You know the plan. And this time we won’t need bait to lure them out.”. 

The other Decepticons red optics glinted in the darkness, and they all grinned. This was too easy.

… 

He panted, slowing down to halt. He took in deep breaths, turning to look behind him. No one. He dropped to his knees letting out a cry of frustration. He pounded his fists into the ground, shaking it vigorously. 

“What the frag was wrong with me?!” he yelled angrily, “oh hello Bumblebee, it’s me, the Decepticon who terminated your friend and tried to kill you on several occasions. So how’s the weather? Stupid!”. 

He crashed to the floor, and let out a groan. “Now they’ll definitely try to scrap me,” he said, “I’m such a coward. I shouldn’t have run. I should have destroyed those entries, never should have kept the damn log in the first place!”. 

He screamed, and then he began to cry. “It’s just like last time!” he wailed, but soon it was reduced to a soft sniffle, “why do I mess everything up?”. 

Megatron was right. Starscream was a curse, always bringing bad luck to him and those who he surrounded himself with. Without Megatron guiding him, he was useless. Maybe… he should– 

He stopped there. He shook his helm. 

“No,” he said, slowly getting up, “Megatron made his choice. And I need to make mine.”. Starscream decided at that moment to wait. He couldn’t rush into anything at this moment.

He needed a plan. He had to know what he needed to do. 

**_Think_ ** , he thought. 

Bumblebee wouldn’t be able to break through the doors. And even if he tried to hack through it, it would take him a few hours. That gave Starscream  **time** . And he would put it to good use. 

When he’d first arrived on this planet, he’d mapped his surroundings by going on walks. He was pretty sure he’d gone east. Which meant that place was nearby. He never went before due to all the human activity, but now it didn’t seem like he had much of a choice. He needed that. It could be what determined whether or not the Autobots would consider his use. Now that he’d formulated a plan, he sped off into action, running off into the shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it's kinda short but I'm quite busy atm so yeah couldn't write much. I'll try to write more in the next chapter, but no promises.


	8. Strange Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bee and his team are stuck on the ship, and Fix-It isn't answering his COMM.

Bumblebee slammed into the door. The sound vibrated through the ship, making the rest of his team wince. 

“This is going nowhere,” he said, shaking himself off and standing straight. He activated his COMM and tried to contact Fix-It. 

“Fix-It, Starscream escaped and we’re stuck on his ship. Can you find his signal anywhere?”. 

Static was his response. 

“Fix-it?” he asked again, his worry escalating, “Fix-It respond.”. 

He was once again greeted by static. 

“We need to get back to base,” he stated, worry evident in his voice, “I have a bad feeling about this.”. 

He looked at the members of his team and noticed one was missing. 

“Where’s Sideswipe?” he asked. Primus, he didn’t need this right now. 

“Yo check this out! Energon!” came Sideswipe’s voice from one of the rooms, and Bumblebee ran towards it. 

When he entered, sure enough, there were stacks of the blue cubes lying around the room, and Sideswipe stood there grinning. 

“That’s a small stock of Energon for a massive ship like this,” Strongarm said when she entered the room. 

“Well old Screamer won’t be needing it anyway,” Sideswipe said, picking up a few of the cubes. 

“We can come back for the cubes after we make sure Fix-It, Denny and Russell are okay,” he said, “Starscream won’t come back for the ship if he doesn’t know we’ve left it.”. 

Sideswipe rolled his optics but obeyed as he put the cubes back down. 

“Okay, okay, sheesh,” he said, crossing his arms as he stormed out of the room. 

Bumblebee and Strongarm followed him back out to the hall towards the doors. Strongarm looked up at her lieutenant. He had a grim expression, lost in thought. 

“Sir, is everything alright?” she asked him. 

He looked down at her, shaking his helm. 

“Yes,” he said, “it’s just Starscream. I can’t believe we just let him fly off like that. We could’ve done something. We could have taken him into custody then and there and avoided this whole mess.”. 

“You’re not just talking about Starscream’s escape and us being trapped here, are you lieutenant?” she asked, and Bumblebee’s optics widened, before a sombre and even guilty look replaced his shock. 

“I had no idea what the Predacons intended to do when they flew off in pursuit of Starscream,” he confessed, “but seeing the damage done to his old body… it just wasn’t right. Even for a mech as horrible as Starscream. No one deserved that kind of pain.”.

Strongarm looked away, contemplating Bumblebee’s answer.

“Look, this is great and all,” Sideswipe said, breaking the silence, “but do we have an actual plan other than yeeting ourselves at a door?”. 

Bumblebee gave Sideswipe a confused look. “Yeet?”.

“Russell said it meant throw or something like that,” Sideswipe answered, shrugging.

Bumblebee shuddered. The red bot had been spending too much time with Russell. 

“So…?” Sideswipe said.

“So what?” Strongarm said, putting both servos on her hips. 

“The plan! Duh!” Sideswipe snapped, throwing his servos in the air, “or are we just going to vibe in a Decepticon ship?!”.

Vibe? Bumblebee would’ve asked, but he knew better than to do so.

He shook his helm. They were wasting time.

“We need to find a way out,” he said, “maybe if we combine our strength and hit the door just strong enough, we could get it open.”. 

Sideswipe’s optics nearly rolled into his head. But whatever.

The five mechs took a few steps back from the door, all waiting for Bumblebee’s signal. 

“Now!” the mech said. 

All five Autobots ran, energy coursing through them. Then they all slammed into the door.

It opened.

Then the team rolled out and hit the ground with a series of thuds. 

A collection of groans was heard, and the team slowly onlined their optics to find the ship doors closing again. That was weird. But Bumblebee gave no time for theories.

“Come on,” he said groggily, as he got to his pedes, “we need to make sure Fix-It and the humans are okay.”. 

They slowly nodded, the impact of the fall still dazing them. Then, they transformed into vehicle mode and sped towards the scrapyard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is longer.


	9. On your side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bumblebee and his team are unable to get inside the scrapyard, but get offered a lending servo from the mech they'd least expect.

They got to the scrapyard. 

Transforming they ran towards the base but halted when they felt a sharp pain consume their chassis. Yells of pain echoed throughout the scrapyard, alerting the Decepticons that the Autobots had returned. 

Steeljaw grinned, walking away from the humans and towards the entrance of the scrapyard. 

The pain was unbearable, and Bumblebee felt like it would snap him in half if he kept pushing against it. He stumbled backwards, his teammates doing the same. The pain disappeared and was replaced with a dull ache in their processors. 

“I see you’ve become acquainted with our new doorbell,” said a voice, which Bee identified as Steeljaw’s, “I would’ve set it to destroy you, but we didn’t have enough Energon to make that possible.”. 

Bumblebee opened his optics, growling and clenching his servos into fists. He ran at the forcefield one more time but collapsed when the searing pain wracked his systems. Steeljaw’s smirk widened, drumming his clawed digits against his hip. This was fun.

Bumblebee had to retreat, panting and huffing from the aftermath of the forcefield. 

“And don’t bother trying to turn off your Audio receptors,” Steeljaw sneered, “this subsonic forcefield affects all your systems, not just auditory. You must not underestimate me so much Bumblebee.”. 

Bee narrowed his optics and clenched his dental plates. He resisted the urge to throw himself at Steeljaw, knowing that it wouldn’t do any good. 

Steeljaw locked eyes with the yellow Autobot, making sure the bot understood there was no getting around this. It was useless. Steeljaw had won. 

“Drop your weapons and hand them over,” he said, “after all, I would hate to have to resort to harming your little pets.”.

The Autobots glanced at their Decepticon hunters, but complied and threw them into the scrapyard. 

Knowing the Autobots were no longer a threat to him, he left the weapons where they were before making his exit.

Bumblebee looked back at the members of his team. “We will find a way in,” he said, “we’re not going to stop until we find a way in.”.

“And, uh, how are we going to do that?” Sideswipe asked, raising an optical ridge.

“Good point,” was Bumblebee’s response, “I have no idea.”.

… 

Well trying to dig their way indefinitely didn’t work. And they didn’t have a giant ladder to climb over it. Great. They were back to square one.

“There has to be a way in,” Bumblebee said, “we just need to find out how.”. 

“Maybe we could fly over it,” Sideswipe said sarcastically. 

Bumblebee gave him a look. He wasn’t in the mood for Sideswipe’s antics.

He was about to scold him, but a noise made him stop in his tracks. 

The sound was a jet’s turbine. And it was close. Too close.

Scrap.

Bumblebee spun around, and his optics widened when he saw a silver and red jet heading straight for them.

He got into a defensive stance, cursing the fact he was weaponless. He could try to block Starscream, but the Decepticon could just throw him into the air and let him come crashing down. Not a good idea.

But before the jet could hit him, Starscream transformers and landed gracefully on his pedes. He slowly rose, red optics meeting blue ones. There was a small smirk on his lips when he saw the bots staring at him with wide optics. 

“It looked like you could use some help,” he said, gesturing towards the scrapyard, “and I think given your predicament, my abilities could be of use to you,”.

Bumblebee raised his servos, and the seeker suppressed the urge to laugh. If this bot thought he could take him in the servo to servo combat, he was terribly mistaken.

“You can lower your servos Bumblebee,” he said, “I’m not here for a fight.”.

No one lowered their servos. Starscream wasn’t surprised.

“What do you want Starscream?” Bumblebee said.

“Simple,” Starscream said, shrugging, “you need to get past that forcefield, but you can’t fly. I can.”.

Bumblebee was beyond confused.

“You want to help us?” Sideswipe said, weary. Bumblebee said Starscream was a trickster, so he wasn’t going to take any chances.

Starscream nodded, folding his arms over his cockpit. 

“Oh yeah?” Bumblebee said, narrowing his optics, “and what do you want in return?”.

Starscream took a deep breath, a sense of Deja Vu overtaking his senses.

He quickly shook out of it. It was different this time, he wouldn’t fail. He could do this.

“I want to be,” he paused for a second, before finishing his sentence, “on your side.”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just casually says 'yo I wanna switch sides lmao'


	10. Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream tries to join the Autobots. It doesn't go as planned, but he has a backup.

The words were like a punch to the face. The last time Starscream said those words, it ended with Arcee having a large gash on her side and Starscream running away and becoming neutral. And then he rejoined Megatron.

“What?!” Bumblebee yelled, “you think I’m going to fall for that trick a second time?!”. 

His response received a shocked look from his other team members. A second time?

Starscream sighed. “Look,” he started, “I know you have no reason to trust me, but I swear that I want to change this time. For once in my life, I swear I’m not lying. I want to be on your side.”.

“No,” Bumblebee snapped, “you just want to keep yourself out of prison! You haven’t changed, you can’t change. You’re Starscream,  **you** killed Cliffjumper!”.

He pointed at Starscream, anger boiling inside of him. The rest of his team members looked at their leader, then at the seeker. They felt caught up in something that didn’t involve them.

“You’re a cold-hearted and selfish Decepticon,” the yellow Autobot growled, “and you’ll never change. Once a Decepticon, always a Decepticon.”.

“What about Knockout?”.

The question took Bumblebee aback. Knockout. The medic had switched sides at the end of the war, and if memory served him correctly, was working with Ratchet here on Earth with the base. Everyone had been wary of his change at the beginning, and the medic himself had confessed his change had been for selfish reasons, but over time the medic had changed drastically, adopting the Autobot code and agreeing that all life should be protected. He had made the change. He went from a Decepticon to an Autobot.

He looked straight at Starscream, straight into those red optics. And saw… no malice. He just looked tired. Very, very tired. His frown was loose, no scowl present. It was strange. Bumblebee didn’t like it.

“Knockout didn’t kill Cliffjumper,” he growled, clenching his servos. 

There was raw pain in his voice, and Starscream could feel it. Had he been the same mech from fifteen stellar cycles ago, he would have laughed, smirked and basked in his pain. But not anymore. Now, he didn’t know what to do.

He looked down an almost guilty look on his face. 

“Yes,” he said, “I did. I killed your friend.”. 

Bumblebee grit his denta. Here it comes… 

“And I know you hate me for it.”.

That was not what he was expecting. He expected a boast, an excuse, something along the lines of ‘it was in the past’. 

Then Starscream did something completely unexpected.

The seeker kneeled down, bowing his head and extending his servos forward, servos clenched.

“But if you won’t take me as an ally,” he said, “you can take me as a prisoner. Just let me help you at least.”. 

Bumblebee looked down at the seeker, optics wide.

Starscream had surrendered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get inspired by Zuko too much.


	11. Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream has surrendered. Now it's up to Bee and his team to decide whether to accept the seeker's offer, or reject it.

Bumblebee wanted to deny it. 

He wanted to blast Starscream in the face and tell him to get lost. 

But Starscream had surrendered, and was on his knees with his servos extended in defeat. 

He had wanted to capture Starscream, but now that he was surrendering he wanted him gone. He wanted to chase him off, but he reminded himself of their current situation. 

They were locked out of their base without weapons or a plan. And a seeker with expert combat skills, weapons, and flight capability had just shown up on a silver platter, and had asked they accept his surrender in return, knowing full well he’d be sent to prison for the rest of his function. 

Bumblebee couldn’t turn that away, not at this moment where they so desperately needed someone like Starscream. 

He turned around to look at his teammates, and then back at the kneeling seeker.

“I will discuss with my team,” he said, “then I’ll tell you whether we accept your surrender or not.”.

Starscream nodded, unmoving.

Bumblebee turned around, walking in the direction of his team. He knew he shouldn’t turn his back on Starscream, and so he spared a few glances backward. The seeker was still kneeling, but his servos were crossed on his knees. He turned back, looking at each of his teammates.

“I’m leaving the decision up to you,” he said, “should we accept Starscream’s terms or not?”.

Sideswipe spoke first. “Bee think about it,” he started, “Starscream was the Air Commander of the ‘Cons during the war, he can fight in the sky for Primus sake! And we currently have no plan and no weapons. I think it’s safe to say we most definitely need him.”.

His eyes moved to Strongarm. She nodded.

“For once I agree with Sideswipe,” she said, ignoring the dirty look she got from the red mech, “Starscream is a tactical advantage we can’t afford to lose. If he joined Steeljaw’s pack, our troubles would multiply. So accepting his help and surrender seems like the best course of action.”.

Bumblebee looked at Grimlock. The Dinobot, turned his head around, but soon realized the yellow bot was asking for his opinion. 

“Well uh,” he started, “shouldn’t we at least give him a tiny chance? Besides he can fly.”.

Finally, the Autobot leader turned to Drift, a small part of him desperately hoping the bot would disagree with the others.

“If Starscream wishes to change sides,” he started, “and is offering his services, it would be most foolish not to consider them.”.

That small flicker died. His team all agreed Starscream was more valuable as an ally than as an enemy, and Bumblebee had left the decision up to them. He took a deep breath, turning around and walking back to where Starscream was still kneeling.

“My team and I…” he started, then clenched his servos before continuing, “accept your terms of surrender.”.

Starscream looked back up, bewildered. Then, he had to hold himself back before he began leaking lubricant. They’d said yes.

He got up almost immediately, stopping himself from grinning with glee.

“But after you help us,” Bee started, looking back at him with narrowed optics, “you go straight into a stasis pod. Understood?”.

Part of Starscream felt disappointed, but he reminded himself that he did surrender. And if that meant being stuck in a stasis pod, then so be it. At least he could prove his use. At least he could do something properly.

“I won’t let you down,” Starscream said, biting back the urge to say ‘Master’, “I promise.”.

He was just glad to have a purpose again. He was glad to serve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took forever to publish because the WiFi where I'm at is shit.


	12. Course of Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bumblebee needs a plan, and Starscream helps with it

Bumblebee gave Starscream a weary glance, not liking the seeker’s behaviour. He was too cheery for someone who had just surrendered. But he snapped out of his thoughts. They had more important things to worry about.

Bumblebee nodded, walking away. Starscream trailed behind him, hunching his shoulders and making himself appear smaller. 

“Even with your advantage of flight, the group of Cons are a lot larger and are too strong for any of us to fight alone,” he said, “so we need to come up with a plan. This barrier affects Autobots and Dinobots, so we can’t get through.”

“Do you have any Minicons?” Starscream asked, which made Bumblebee raise an optic ridge.

“Yes,” he said, “why are you asking?”.

“Do you know if the forcefield affects Minicons?” he asked, raising a servo.

Bumblebee wanted to smack himself on the faceplates. Why didn’t he think of that?

Starscream read the other’s expression, and nearly smirked. Bumblebee noticed, narrowing his optics.

“We don’t,” he spoke, almost a hiss, “we haven’t tested it out yet. But I guess we could try it”.

With that sentence, Drift detached Jetstorm and Slipstream, and the minicons landed on their feet. They looked up, almost shrinking back when they saw the giant seeker looking down at them with red optics. They glanced back up at their Master, who looked down at them. The two minicons looked away.

Starscream said nothing. He kept his optics on his part-time ‘ally’. 

“Here’s the plan,” he started, but stopped when they all heard the sound of small footsteps and loud panting. Bumblebee turned around, and found Russell running towards them from the ledge of the scrapyard entrance. 

The boy huffed, stopping in front of the mechs and holding his abdomen as he tried to catch his breath. He looked up, and saw not seven, but eight mechs staring back at him. And one was Starscream. 

The Decepticon simply looked at him in confusion, but didn't scream out accusations or anything of the sort, like everyone thought he would. He simply nodded, acknowledging his presence before returning his gaze to Bumblebee. 

"Russel," the yellow Autobot said, snapping the boy out of his train of thought, "are you okay?".

"Those Decepti-creeps have my dad!" he said, staring at Bee with worried eyes, "I managed to get away but they got him! Please you have to save him!". 

Bumblebee looked at him, and nodded. "We have a plan," he said, "Starscream is going to fly over the forcefield and cause a distraction, while we find a different route to send Jetstorm and Slipstream in. They'll deactivate the barrier and we go in. Then we stop the Cons.".

He twisted his head, and stared into Starscream with a hard glare. “And then **you** go in a stasis pod,” he said, narrowing his optics further.

Starscream gulped. He’d go in the pod, as much as he’d rather not. He’d made a deal with them, and he had to honour it. And maybe, just maybe, if he was useful enough, they might reconsider. So he nodded.

Russell looked at the two mechs, confused at this strange agreement. A small part wanted to argue, but he might just make things worse. So he kept his mouth shut. 

“Does everyone understand the plan?” Bumblebee asked. Every mech nodded. “Then let’s go.”.

With that command, Starscream leapt into the air and transformed, jet engine roaring to life as he took off. He spiralled into the sky, taking a graceful turn and flying straight over the barrier. 

“Now that,” Sideswipe said while pointing at the jet, “was awesome.”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sideswipe is a total fanboy. Don't tell Strongarm.


	13. My Best Quality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steeljaw becomes conserned with the jet flying above them. His concerns soon become a real problem.

Steeljaw was getting concerned. For quite some time now, there was a jet circling above them, and it hadn’t come down or left. It couldn’t be an Autobot. Autobots couldn’t fly. But why would an Earth plane be circling over some measly scrapyard in the middle of nowhere? He didn’t know which course of action to take. He was more occupied with making the damned minicon open the stasis pods. 

But this could prove to be a problem. 

“Fracture can you shoot that jet down?” he said, “it’s starting to piss me off.”.

The bounty hunter shrugged, giving a curt nod before transforming his hand into a blaster and firing in direction of the jet. Just then, the jet doged the blast and swerved right at them. That was definitely not a human plane.

They were under fire very quickly. The ship fired round after round of blasts, and all the Cons were struggling to dodge. Steeljaw growled, then yelped when a blast hit him on his pede. He looked back up at the jet, roaring before leaping at it.

The seeker wanted to scoff. Amateur move. 

He rammed into the Decepticon and flew all the way up, then twisted away from the Decepticon and let him plummet down. He would’ve let it at that, but a growl stopped him.

“Starscream.” Bumblebee growled into the comm, and the seeker would’ve rolled his eyes if he was in bot mode.

“Don’t fret about it,” the con said, flying back down and transforming. 

He barely grabbed the con’s pede before he smashed into the ground. 

Then, in one swift movement, he flung the Wolficon at another Decepticon, wincing slightly at the loud sound that echoed when they collided with one another. He transformed again before he hit the ground, flying up shortly before returning to bot mode and landing on his pedes.

Steeljaw shook out of his shock, groaning slightly before getting back up and looking at his attacker. The bot’s elite flight skills must’ve ment he was a Seeker, and from the two purple insignias on his wings, he was a Decepticon. His confusion grew.

“Brother,” he started, about to approach but stopped in his tracks when the seeker activated his blasters.

“I’m not your brother,” he spat, red optics narrowing.

“And yet you wear a Decepticon insignia,” Steeljaw retorted, hoping he could convince this bot to lower his weapons, but grew puzzled when the seeker laughed.

“Oh please,” he said, “this is a proper insignia, still attached to the true meaning on the Decepticons, not what you criminals have turned my cause into.”. 

Ah, so this was one of the Decepticons from the war. Something about the way the bot said ‘my’ made Steeljaw’s optics widened in shock.

“Are you–?” he started, but was interrupted. “Megatron? Hardly. Megatron was a coward who abandoned my cause long ago.”.

“So you must be Starscream,” he said, “but then, why attack us? We are on your side?”.

With that came another spurt of bitter laughter from the mech. 

“You don’t know me very well do you?” the seeker said, charging his blaster and firing at the Wolficon. He missed on purpose, managing to send the con back a few feet due to the impact of the blast. He toppled over the other mech, both falling with a crash. 

“I was known best in the Decepticons not for my rank nor my elite flight skills,” Starscream said, “though that came close second. No, I was known for one of my most unique qualities no other Decepticon possessed.”.

“Which is?”

He smirked, pointing a blaster straight at him. 

“My treachery and knack for being a turncoat.”.

At that moment, everything clicked for Steeljaw. The seeker had switched sides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask how Starscream knows what being a turncoat means


	14. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream engages in combat with Steeljaw.

“Now!” Starscream yelled, and on command, something red zoomed past them and began bouncing off of several objects before transforming and landing on the command console. A minicon.

Scrap.

Before he could do anything, he was sent into a large shelf of junk, crashing and smashing the objects stacked on it. The seeker had kicked him, and barely gave Steeljaw time to recover from the blow (and the shock) by throwing himself at the Wolficon. The seeker tackled the grounder, claws raking his chestplate. Steelajw flailed his arms, trying to land a blow on the seeker, but was unable to. Things were not going as planned. 

Starscream heard the second minicon ricochet off and into the command console, but focused his attention on the Decepticon he was currently attacking. His claws made large scratches, and although none were deep enough to cut energon lines, they were very sharp and painful. He didn’t know whether the minicons had succeeded or not, but he couldn’t get distracted. As a (sort of former) Con himself, he knew just how slippery one could be. So he couldn’t afford to be distracted.

The Wolficon growled, managing to grab one of the seeker’s arms and fling him off. Starscream landed on his back with a harsh thud, but recovered quickly and jumped to his pedes before the mech could smash his helm in. But he wasn’t quick enough to turn around, because seconds later a pede slammed into his waist. He stumbled and crashed down onto the ground, growling in anger. 

“How dare you side with the Autobots over your own kind?!” the Decepticon snarled, but he yelped when a punch landed on his snout. 

“No, how do you dare you call yourself a Decepticon?!” Starscream roared, “you are a dingy little criminal! You don’t give two flying frags about our cause, about what we endured to keep our ideals alive! Every moment you brandish that insignia, you throw dirt on mech’s like me! Every time you call yourself one of us, a true Decepticon turns in their grave!”. 

He leapt at the mech, throwing an uppercut and making the Wolficon lose his balance. He planted another good kick on the other’s waist, sending him flying. His opponent spluttered, growling. 

“A true Decepticon?!” he yelled, “if you are supposedly the ‘true’ Decepticon Leader, then lead us!”.

“You want me to lead?! Fine!” Starscream snarled, “then as Leader of the Decepticons, I order you to stand down!”.

The Wolficon howled in anger, swiping his claws wildly at Starscream. The seeker caught a servo, then punched the other’s arm and sent a shockwave through the other’s chassis. The Wolficon yelped in pain, and Starscream threw him across the scrapyard. 

“This is your problem!” the seeker yelled, “you only listen to an order if it’s the one you want to hear! Well that’s not how it works! You are no Decepticon, you’re a mockery!”.

Steeljaw wanted to rip Starscream in half. He exploded in a fuming rage, not even bothering to calculate his attacks as he threw random punches and swipes at the seeker. 

Starscream dodged with ease, not even trying at this point. Starscream really had a talent for bringing the worst out in mech’s. He frowned, momentarily distracted. He always brought the worst out in mech’s… 

In that moment’s hesitation, Steeljaw saw an opening. But not against the seeker. A few seconds ago, Bumblebee had barged through and was now withing Steeljaw’s range. He smirked, and leapt at the startled yellow autobot instead.

Starscream’s optics widened in shock.

The wolficon’s claws were extended, ready to slash through the Autobot.

Frag it all. 

At the last moment, Starscream shoved Bumblebee out of the way, and let out a pained yell as claws raked through his exposed protoform. 

Immediately, he fell to the floor, clutching his abdomen from where Steeljaw had injured him. He felt warm liquid slip through his digits. Oh scrap he was leaking Energon.

He groaned in pain, but soon yelped when a sharp kick found it’s way into his wound. He curled up, trying his best to protect his weaker parts from the onslaught of kicks. He wasn’t succeeding. Every kick made the wound larger, leaking more and more Energon.

Starscream froze. He was going to bleed out.

– _Predaking’s claws ripped his leg apart, screams of agony ringing throughout Darkmount_ – 

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push the memory far back.

– _bit down onto his abdomen and ripped apart the sensitive protoform, Energon spraying out and oozing into large puddles_ – 

This wasn’t Darkmount. Predaking wasn’t here. He wasn’t dead. 

_Yet_ , said a voice in the back of his processors.

He couldn’t focus on anything but the pain as his wound was kicked repeatedly. He was hyperventilating, not even trying to defend himself. 

It was too much. The memories, the pain, it was too much. He couldn’t– 

He heard a loud clang, and the kicking stopped.

He slowly online his optics, and widened them in shock at what he saw.

Bumblebee was fighting the Wolficon. He was punching and kicking him, sending him further and further from Starscream.

Still clutching his wound, he slowly and shakily rose to his pedes. He couldn’t believe it. Why had Bumblebee saved him?

Maybe he just wanted to make sure Starscream ended up in a stasis pod instead of dead. But the question was still running through his processor. Why? 

Soon, the members of the Autobots team all got to their area of the scrapyard, weapons raised.

Steeljaw was outnumbered.

He growled, and in a final moment he punched Bumblebee, hard. The bot was sent stumbling back, distracting everyone for a few seconds. That gave him enough time to transform and escape, his engine roaring behind him as he left.

They all gathered around their lieutenant, who shook his helm and got to his pedes. He looked at all the worried faceplates staring back at him.

“Sir, are you alright?” Strongarm asked, her usually calm and serious faceplated filled with worry.

He shook a servo in the air.

“I’m fine Strongarm,” he said, smiling at his teammates.

A cough and harsh slam snapped them out of their daze. They turned around, and all saw Starscream on his knees clutching his abdomen. Energon was oozing out of a large gash on his side, and the seeker was battered and bruised. 

Bumblebee walked towards him, and looked down at the seeker. The seeker turned his head up. He looked into those blue optics, and immediately his helm went down. 

He had done something wrong. He hadn’t captured the Decepticon, he should have been able to catch him. He shouldn’t have gotten injured. He should have kept on fighting despite it. Slag why did he mess everything up?! Now not only was he going to end up in a stasis pod, but he’d be additionally punished for his incompetence, his uselessness. 

He squeezed his optics, expecting the unavoidable blow to strike him. He waited for the phrase: “you _**failed**_.”.

It never came. 

“Thank you,” Bumblebee said, “for saving me back there. You’re badly injured, let me help you.”.

Starscream looked back up, optics wide in shock. He looked infront, and saw the yellow autobot had his servo extended.

Starscream hesitantly took it. He shakily got to his pedes, and Bumblebee used his other servo to steady the wounded seeker.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I’m sorry for failing, for–”

“What are you talking about?” Bumblebee asked, confusion clear on his faceplates, “You didn’t fail Starscream. Thanks to you we have our base back.”.

The seeker was dumbstruck. Had the Autobot thanked him? 

“C’mon,” the mech said, leading Starscream towards the command console, “let’s get you patched up.”.

This was a first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop


	15. Reconsideration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream is ready to honour his terms of surrender, but the terms have changed.

Afternoon came quick. The sky was now a vibrant shade of orange, peach clouds fluttering like wisps in the sky. Starscream took every detail in, knowing this would most likely be the last time he saw the sky. 

After Bumblebee and his team had finished conversing, he knew what fate awaited him; a stasis pod with his name on it.  _ It wasn’t that bad _ , he told himself,  _ at least you weren’t beaten and berated _ . That was still shocking. He hadn’t done enough, he wasn’t good enough, and yet he wasn’t punished for it. 

It felt weird. 

He didn’t get it. He should have been hit, he should have been reprimanded, at least left to bleed for a lot longer, to prove he was worth medical attention. He was not ready to be lifted up and immediately repaired. He was even helped up, when he should have just been able to rise to his own pedes. If he wasn’t strong enough to get up, he shouldn’t have gotten treatment. He had to earn it. Not have it be given to him. 

Soft pedsteps broke him out of his thoughts. He snapped his helm up, and saw Bumblebee heading towards him. He practically jumped to his feet, almost falling over. A servo on his shoulderplates caught him.

“Woah calm down,” Bumblebee said, “take it easy Starscream, that was a nasty wound you had there. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but without you we’d be scrap. You saved our tailpipes back there, and I just think that you deserve my thanks.”.

Starscream was so utterly perplexed by this odd behaviour, he was speechless for a few seconds. Then he shook his helm slightly.

“It’s no problem,” he said, looking down, a small twinge of shame burning in his spark, “I guess I should thank you as well. For helping me when you didn’t need to.”.

“What do you mean?” the yellow autobot asked.

“Well you gave me medical aid,” the seeker said, “and you also saved me from that Wolficon. So I must thank you as well.”.

“Oh,” Bumblebee responded, “uh, you’re welcome.”.

This was getting very awkward very quickly. 

“I guess I should, uh,” Starscream started, “go find a stasis pod. After all, I’m no longer of use.”.

He began to walk to where several pods were stacked, but stopped in his tracks when he felt the servo still on his shoulder. He turned his helm, an optic ridge raised to show the seeker’s confusion.

“Starscream, wait,” the yellow bot began, taking a deep breath, “I’ve had a discussion with my team, and we’ve come to an agreement of sorts.”.

“Go on,” the seeker said, intrigued and puzzled.

“We’ve decided,” he started, biting down on his lower lip plate before letting out a sigh, “that we’re going to put you under heavy probation.”.

Starscream was stunned. “M-meaning…?”.

“If you prove to use that you’ve changed, genuinely changed,” he said, “and that you adopt the Autobot code… if you do that, we will allow you to become one of us. We will let you be an Autobot.”.

Shock. Then, a complete feeling of utter joy overtook the seeker. He wanted to cry, he wanted to weep on his knees and thank the yellow bot. 

“We…” Bumblebee hesitated, but continued, “I am putting a lot of trust in you. And it’s not easy, considering everything you’ve done. So please don’t disappoint me. Please.”. 

The seeker understood. He would have to show significant change and devotion to prove himself worthy. And he wouldn’t disappoint. He’d disappointed too many times already. But not this time.

“I won’t fail,” he said, “I will make sure of it.”.

The yellow bot nodded, walking off and leaving Starscream alone. And the seeker could not refrain the small smile that spread across his faceplates.

He’d been accepted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helping this boi will take time. lots of time.


	16. Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream learns the rules that come with his probation, and has a complicated talk with Fix-It.

When he was summoned by his superior, Starscream almost ran to him. Overjoyed was one way to describe just how the seeker felt. He walked towards Bumblebee and his team, bowing his head slightly. 

“Here are the basic rules we’ve decided,” Bumblebee began, “you are not allowed to leave the premises of the scrapyard for any missions, unless they are crucial. You will instead help Fix-It in communications. You will also not be allowed to be on solo patrol, and must be accompanied by one of us. We will also monitor your flight. Fix-It is currently working on a device to limit your flight range. You will have an active tracker, that you are not allowed to turn off at any time. And, your weapons will be disabled and handed over. We will loosen these restrictions and allow you to accompany us on missions when we think you are trustworthy enough.”.

Well no one said it was going to be easy. 

Any complaint Starscream wanted to utter he put a clamp on. _This was as good as it gets_ , he told himself. He should be grateful they even considered this option in the first place given all of the seeker’s past crimes.

“I understand,” said the seeker.

“Good,” Bumblebee said, “report to the command centre to have the tracker and flight restrictor fitted on you.”.

With that the seeker nodded, dipped his head slightly, and walked to where the command centre was. 

When he arrived, the orange minicon was already waiting for him. He was fidgety, clearly nervous. Once Starscream would have been proud of that. Now he was ashamed.

He first removed the blasters on his arms, and set them down on the ground. “This model of my body has no internal blasters,” he explained, “and Megatron made me change chassis to get the upgrade. But you can check if you want.”.

Fix-It settled for double-checking, to make sure the seeker’s statement was true. He took out a stick-like device, which Starscream assumed was a scanner of sorts, and hovered it over the seeker’s extended servos. When no signs of blasters registered on the device’s screen, Fix-It knew the seeker was being truthful.

“Huh,” the minicon said, “I thought it was only the newer models that had no internal blasters.”.

That confused Starscream, but soon came to the conclusion that with no war, there were no need for built in weapons. 

“This body was made before the war,” he stated, “and built-in blaster upgrades were only available when the war had already started.”.

“Then why didn’t you get any?” the minicon asked, puzzled.

“I told you,” the seeker shrugged, a sour expression overtaking his faceplates, “My former master Megatron denied me the upgrade, and I only got one when I switched chassis, per his instructions.”.

“Oh,” was Fix-It’s response, “that explains why your appearance didn’t match any from my database. You were a lot smaller and, uh, thinner.”.

Starscream held back a scowl. Yes, Megatron had Shockwave design the chassis with those specific details in mind. Made it easier for his mighty leader to wrap those sharp talons around his neck and swing him around like a scraplet. In that chassis the best he could do was scratch the warlord, which was only met with more brutal beatings. 

**_You deserved it._ **

He shook out of it.

“Yes,” he muttered, “that’s why.”.

“May I ask,” the minicon started, “why did you switch chassis again, and what happened to your other one?”.

Starscream flinched.

_– his small wing got caught in Skylynx’s maw, and the Predacon snapped down, and the sound of metal being ripped and shredder was drowned out by a loud shriek–_

_Not Darkmount_ , he told himself, _that was long ago. This is not Darkmount_.

“I didn’t like it,” he blurted out, “besides this one is larger and more useful.”.

The answer felt out of place, but Fix-It wasn’t going to argue with a seeker who had razor sharp claws capable of slicing and dicing minicons into scrap metal. 

“All done!” the minicon announced, changing the subject as quickly as possible, “the tracker and flight restrictor have been fitted and your weapons will be stored away.”. 

Starscream blinked. The minicon was already done? That felt quick. He shrugged.

“Thanks,” the seeker said, getting back up and brushing himself off, “so what do I need to do now?”.

“Now, uh,” the minicon started, but was unsure what the seeker was actually supposed to be doing, “I don’t really know.”. 

“Should I find the lieutenant?” he asked.

“Maybe– wait, lieutenant?” the minicon questioned, completely bewildered.

  
  


“That’s his title, is it not?” the seeker asked, raising an opticas ridge, “or am I supposed to call him something else?”.

“Oh no no no that is his title of address,” the minicon corrected, shaking his servos in a left to right motion, “I just did not expect you to call him that.”.

“Why, wouldn’t I?” Starscream asked, not understanding the minicon’s confusion, “it’s proper to call a superior by their title. Why would I be excluded from that formality?”.

Starscream’s behaviour was ever so strange, but Fix-It thought it best to keep that comment to himself.

“Nevermind,” the minicon said, putting on a nervous smile, “but yes maybe it’s best if you go to lieutenant Bumblebee.”.

The seeker nodded, and walked off to find his superior officer. Meanwhile, Fix-It tried to wrap his head around Starscream’s unusual manners. Why was it so important to address Bumblebee by just his rank? Sure Fix-It did it, but Starscream was a new member of the team who had past instances of completely disregarding authority (clear through his relationship with Megatron). So why was he so insistent to call Bumblebee his ‘lieutenant’?

Fix-It didn’t know if he’d ever find out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm yes, therapy sounds so good for Starscream right now.


	17. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sideswipe has a chat with their newest 'member'.

He’d found Lieutenant Bumblebee talking with two of his bots. One was red, the other blue and white. He didn’t remember their designations properly, and he decided to wait until the lieutenant was finished. He didn’t hear what they were talking about, for they spoke in hushed voices, but he assumed it might have something to do with him. He just had a feeling. But nonetheless he waited.

It was only a few minutes until Bumblebee turned around, taking notice of the seeker’s presence. He walked over to the mech, his teammates giving him weary glances.

“Starscream,” Bumblebee said, “do you need anything?”.

“I got the tracker and regulator fitted on like you asked,” he said, “and I was wondering what I needed to do next.”.

“Oh,” the yellow mech said, “well Sideswipe can show you where to recharge.”.

The red bot’s optics widened, his gaze switching from Bumblebee to Starscream.

The seeker simply nodded, and started back at Sideswipe. The red bot gulped a little, but gave a quick nod before Bumblebee and Strongarm walked off and left him alone with the seeker. 

“So should we…?” he did a circular motion with his index digit before pointing in a direction. The seeker nodded, lifting a servo and motioning in the direction the Autobot was pointing.

“Lead the way,” was all the seeker said. 

“Okay,” Sideswipe said.

He began walking, Starscream at his side with his servos behind his back. The situation was incredibly awkward. Sideswipe coughed slightly, which made the seeker twist his helm to face him.

“So, second-in-command of the ‘Cons huh?” the red bot asked, “that must’ve been cool.”.

The seeker’s faceplates remained void of emotion, which didn’t help to calm Sideswipe’s nerves.

“Yes,” he said, “the position came with its perks. But why the interest?”.

“Oh, uh,” Sideswipe started, unsure of how to explain his interest, “you’re just a big deal on Cybertron. Bots from the war say you were quite dangerous and stuff, not to mention how everyone talks about… uh… how good it is that you’re finally gone.”.

That was hard to say. Now he hoped Starscream didn’t murder him.

“...Ah,” Starscream said, “that makes sense. I wasn’t exactly someone to be missed. But tell me, what’s it like?”.

“What’s what like?” the red bot questioned, confusion evident in his voice. 

“Cybertron.”.

Oh right. Starscream hadn’t been around to see Cybetron be rebuilt (well mostly since everyone thought he was dead). 

“Well everything is different,” the bot began, “it’s got lots of shiny and tall buildings, lots of mechs, very modern as well. Probably very different from what you remember. But, it’s nice.”. 

Starscream nodded softly, then looked at the sky.

“Are there any… flying bots?” he asked, an almost mournful look on his faceplates.

“Well, sorta,” Sideswipe said, scratching his helm, “not that many, most folk are grounders. But there is the occasional flyer. Donno if the Seeker’s are a thing, I never really payed attention to flyers, and my mentor didn’t really like me talking about flyers. He was a bot from the war, says fliying bots brought him bad memories.”.

“Mentor?” Starscream asked, raising an optical ridge.

“Well let's say I’m not exactly a bot who played nice on Cybertron,” he started, “my mentor kinda helped me out a bit, and he’d usually be the one to get me out of trouble. Which was most of the time.”.

The seeker hummed softly as a response, as if telling him to continue. Sideswipe didn’t know why he blurted all this out to the former Decepticon, he hadn’t even told this to Strongarm. The only other member of their team who knew this was Bumblebee, but that was only because him and his mentor had history.

“Yeah he’d usually scold me every time I’d race and run around, which wasn’t fair seeing as he did the same,” Sideswipe grumbled, which made the seeker chuckle lightly.

“So yeah that’s kinda my origin story if that’s what you wanna call it,” Sideswipe said.

The seeker nodded slightly.

“And we’re here,” Sideswipe said, snapping out of his own thoughts. 

The seeker looked at the space. It was a little patch of barren ground with a pair of cuffs at the side. The seeker looked at the cuffs, then at the red bot.

“Bee just wants to be safe,” was Sideswipe’s response, “you know, just precautions.”.

The red bot expected the seeker to snap or argue, but he simply nodded.

“Understandable,” he said plainly, then smirked, “after all I do have quite the dangerous track record, for an ‘old Screamer’.”.

Sideswipe’s jaw dropped open. “How do you know about that?”

“How else did you think those doors opened?” the seeker said, small smirk still on his faceplates.

“Oh,” was Sideswipe's response, then he smiled sheepishly, “no hard feelings?”.

“None at all,” the seeker said, “thank you, again, for this.”.

“No prob, Bob,” the red bot said.

Starscream squinted, but said nothing. The bot must’ve been learning human expressions.

“Anyways I better put these on,” he said, scratching the back of his helm again. He grabbed the cuffs, and was surprised when the seeker already had his servos stretched out.

He clamped the cuffs down on the former Decepticon, who then nodded. 

“Well, nice talk,” Sideswipe said, “uh, recharge well? See you in the morning?”.

Starscream gave a small smile, then laid down on the patch of ground before shutting his optics.

Sideswipe nodded, muttering ‘cool’ under his breath before leaving. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sideswipe is a fanbot and he will never admit it.


	18. Threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strongarm doesn't trust Starscream not to slip up. She decides to make sure the seeker understands that.

Strongarm couldn’t recharge. 

She had this nagging voice in the back of her processor that told her that the seeker was up to something. Strongarm didn’t trust him, still sure everything was an act. Sure she’d voted in favour of his assistance, but that didn’t mean she was going to be ‘buddy buddy’ with a Decepticon war criminal. She’d read about the terrible deeds Starscream had committed, all his treachery towards his own faction, about the mech’s he’d killed. She didn’t think this was a good idea. 

That was it. She would never fall into recharge with these thoughts running rampant in her processor. Careful not to alert anyone, the white and blue mech got up and gently made her way to where the seeker’s recharge area was. It had been hastily put together in an area of the scrapyard that was nowhere near the command console or their energon stock. And even with all these precautions, Strongarm didn’t think it would be enough. The seeker was slippery and tricky, her mentors had told her so. He’d even killed an Autobot in cold energon. The one called Cliffjumper. He used to be her mentor’s closest friend, and Starscream had killed him. The seeker had most likely killed more, the slagger. And only now did he want to change? For Strongarm, it seemed too little too late. 

She slipped through the stacks of things, pressing herself into a shelf and looking over to see the seeker. He wasn’t in recharge. He was curled up into a ball, staring at a self-projected screen. She pressed her back closer, determined to see what the seeker was doing. Was he contacting someone? She suppressed a growl, clenching her denta tightly as she took out her blaster. 

The screen began to talk, and Strongarm nearly shot the seeker until she heard the voice. 

It was Starscream’s voice. 

But it didn’t make any sense. The seeker’s mouth plates were closed, and the voice–

She froze. It was a log.

“Log date 1828? 1838?

Frag it. I’ve lost count. Doesn’t matter.”. 

The seeker’s frustrated voice came out of the screen, and this time she saw his face on the recording. That was new. The one on the ship had simply provided audio, no footage. She put her blaster back in it’s holster, and opted to just listen to the recording. She could figure out what the seeker was planning.

“Fragging Megatron is nowhere. How can a mech that big just vanish?! Where is he?!”.

The seeker was yelling into the screen, pure rage on his faceplates. She almost smirked. Served him right. After all that time, the seeker had still been looking for Megatron. The little glitch was so traitorous he would kill the leader of his own damn faction just for power. What a– 

“I just– my processor aches. I need to recharge. I have no indication of time anymore, but it doesn’t matter. I just need to find him. That’s all that matters.”.

The seeker had clawed at his helm, then he just scowled, facing away from the camera. His anger was dwindling, and an almost tired expression consumed his faceplates. Odd. She continued to listen.

“Not this fragging feeling in my spark, not this drowning silence, not this urge to rip the spark from my chamber! None of it fragging matters! Whatever. Just, Starscream out.”.

During that last sentence, the mech’s voice had cracked. It sounded… almost sad. Desperate. Whatever smirk she had wanted on her faceplates was replaced with a frown. Then the question hit her; just how long had the seeker been alone in space for? How long had he been chasing after someone long long gone? 

“You can come out,” said a voice, rattling her focus and freezing her joints, “I know you’re there.”.

Strongarm slowly crept out of the shadows, her blue optics boring into those red, red optics. She searched for any clue of malice, of vicious intent, anything that could indicate the seeker was planning bloodshed. Nothing. Just pure exhaustion and misery. She didn’t understand it. And when she didn’t understand something, she treated it as a threat.

“Well?” she growled defensively, “aren’t you going to yell at me for not trusting you? For listening into your log?”.

“Why would I do that?” the seeker said, and Strongarm had to take a step back.

Starscream sighed. “Look I don’t blame you for your distrust towards me. I don’t even trust myself. I was, sort of am, a dangerous mech and potential threat. I know that my words mean scrap, and that you wouldn’t believe anything that came out of my mouth. I do not blame you.”.

She was completely taken aback. This wasn’t the seeker her mentors had warned her about. This wasn’t some devious, deceitful and cowardly monster, but just some sad and pathetic old bot. She came to the most logical conclusion she could muster. Was this some act?

“If you think you can trick me by pretending to act–” 

the seeker just sighed. 

They didn’t get it. He didn’t expect them to. 

But he’d wandered through endless space in some fruitless attempt at closure, and justice. For so long he was chasing a ghost, and it took him fifteen fragging years to realize it was pointless. His search was in vain. Megatron always got what he wanted, and Starscream was left to pay for everything. Had he committed terrible and unfathomable crimes? Of course he had! He wasn’t preaching to be some saint, he knew he wasn’t. But Megatron’s deeds were always piled on top of him as well. When that slagger took off, he’d dropped everything on his second, letting him suffer for everything. Megatron got away, and Starscream was punished. Megatron got away with barely a scratch, while Starscream had been torn limb from limb. 

But he would never reveal that to them. He would not put his anguish on display to prove a point. He would just keep everything in. that way no one would know just how weak he was. If he showed weakness, just how broken and bruised he was, the Autobots would get rid of him. They would think him useless, and dispose of him. He didn’t want that. He would never ever say it aloud, but he was scared. Starscream was very, very scared.

Strongarm just stared at the seeker. He hadn’t snapped. There wasn’t a trace of anger on his face. Just this ever growing look of sorrow and fatigue.

“I’m tired,” he said, “and I don’t mean in the sense of recharge. I’m just… very tired.”.

She wanted to speak, but stopped when she saw lubricant begin to well in the seeker’s optics. At that moment, Strongarm had no idea what to do. But she blurted it out.

“You’re crying,” she said.

His eyes widened in shock, blinking rapidly. Quickly, he threw his servos on to his face and wiped furiously. 

“N-no I wasn’t,” he said, pulling the servos away. Strongarm was surprised he hadn’t clawed his face off by just how quickly he’d scrubbed his face of lubricant.

Strongarm definitely didn’t know what to do, but a small part of her wanted to make sure the seeker got the message. She didn’t trust him, and she wasn’t going to fall for whatever trick this was.

“You may be on our team,” she growled, stepping forward and leaning down until her face was mere centimeters away from Starscream’s, “but if you do one misstep, give me one reason to think that you would turn on us, and it will be the end of the line for you Decepticon.”.

Starscream bit back a whimper. For a small second, he could almost picture Megatron’s faceplates in front of him. The warlord’s scarred face with those burning red optics and jagged dentae gritted in a scowl.

**_You will perish on this very day._ **

He quickly nodded, and Strongarm pulled away, walking away with a growl still on her faceplates.

Once she left, the seeker curled back up into a ball, squeezing his optics shut and repeating the same phrase over and over again: 

He isn’t here. 

He isn’t here. 

He isn’t here.

**Megatron** is not here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha PTSD go brrr.


	19. Similarly Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream completes some tasks, and he makes a decision that could impact his health.

“Not that way!” the minicon yelped, “please be gentle when you put it down! If it ruptures we could have a serious conjunction– junction– malfunction!”.

Starscream held back a groan. A few days ago, when he was told he would be helping the minicon, he was not expecting to be a worker drone. He was hauling stasis pods back and forth like some sort of Vehicon, and every once in a while when he wanted to stomp the minicon to death he reminded himself he was supposed to be ‘changing’. So instead he settled for grumbling. He slowly walked to where the minicon pointed and set the pod down. 

The minicon let out a sigh of relief, then went over to the pod to check nothing was damaged. He looked it over, inspecting it fully. Nope. No damage. 

He looked back up at the seeker, who had a look of impatience he was desperately trying to cover.

“So that’s the fifth pod,” Fix-It said, “which means there are thirteen left.”. 

Starscream wanted to give up. He wanted to fly up into space and stay there. But he just kept telling himself that at least he was being useful. 

_Don’t let them even consider the option ‘useless’_ , he told himself. 

He nodded, walking back over to where the other empty pods were stacked. He grabbed hold of one and hoisted it up with ease. He then carefully made his way to where the minicon was, setting the pod down with just as much care as the other one. The minicon went to inspect it, and the seeker's left optic twitched. The minicon acted like he'd thrown the pod down in a tantrum. The minicon nodded. 

"Maybe you should take a break," the minicon said, "you have been at this for quite a while.".

To Fix-It's surprise, Starscream shook his helm. 

"No, no, I'm fine," he stated simply, "I can wait until I'm finished.". 

"Okay," Fix-It said wearily, "but you should take one if you feel strained. I don't want you to overwork yourself.".

For a moment, Starscream felt a small warm feeling in his spark. Did the minicon—

"After all you could end up damaging a pod," the minicon said. 

The feeling vanished instantly. No. He didn't. It was the pod. 

_**Do you think anyone cares?** _

Starscream snapped out of it. Now wasn't the time. 

He nodded. 

"Understood," the seeker states, hoping the minicon didn't hear the disappointment in his voice. Then, the seeker went to pick up another pod. 

… 

Fix-It wondered how in Primus Starscream wasn't tired. He'd hauled pods back and forth for well over an hour now, and he hadn't requested a single break. 

It took the minicon stating he needed to be elsewhere and that in the meantime Starscream should take a break for the seeker to finally accept. And even then, it was more because Fix-It wanted the break so he could get away from the former Decepticon. He'd noticed the seeker's twitching, and didn't want to push his luck. So he took off in one direction, leaving Starscream to his own devices. The seeker decided to wander around. 

He walked through the seemingly endless shelves stocked with human machinery and relics, and let his mind wander. He began to think about Knockout.

He wondered what the red medic was doing now, and where he was. He'd never say it aloud, but he missed that son of a glitch. If he ever met Knockout again, he'd most likely hug him, after he clobbered him for breaking the Immobiliser over his head. 

Starscream gave a small smile. He and Knockout had a strange relationship. Friends? Rivals? Frenemies? Not even Starscream knew what they were. It was complicated. Especially with those instances when the two managed to get away from Nemesis. Away from the war, when it was just them two and no one else mattered. Those types of moments he had with the medic were some he really enjoyed. 

He knew everything was different now, but he still hoped to make it up to the medic one day. 

… 

The minicon was taking quite a while to show. So Starscream went looking for him himself. The seeker walked through more shelves of stuff until he found the minicon near the entrance. 

"Oh, boy!" the human boy, Russel, whined aloud, clutching his head and shaking it. 

Before Starscream could ask what the trouble was, he heard large pedsteps and flinched. He twisted his helm to face the direction the sound was coming from and saw it was the Dinobot.

"Back from solo patrol!" he said, "and I did not see one filthy Decepticon. Mm-mm, no, sir, nope.".

Just then the Lieutenant arrived as well, and Starscream directed his attention towards his superior. 

"Another uneventful patrol, huh," Bumblebee said, "maybe we're running out of Decepticons.". 

"Maybe," the Dinobot said, "because my patrol was totally uneventful too." 

Starscream narrowed his optics at that statement. He could tell from experience when someone was lying. And the Dinobot was doing a pretty poor job as well.

"I mean, completely free of Decepticons," the Dinobot said nervously, the worry evident in his voice, "or smashing of any kind.". 

Yep. He was lying alright. At that moment, Starscream wondered if he should call the Dinobot out on his bluff, but decided against it. He was already struggling with his safety enough as it is, he didn't need the Autobots to become hostile because of a misinterpretation. Keeping his mouth shut was usually in his best interests. He almost always screwed things up when he talked. 

Bumblebee eyed Grimlock suspiciously but said nothing when his attention was drawn elsewhere. 

"Lieutenant!" Fix-It said. 

Bumblebee turned around to look at the minicon. 

"I picked up a Decepticon signal in the woods," the minicon stated, "near the old demolition derby arena.".

"Grim, wasn't that right where you were patrolling?" questioned Strongarm, putting a servo on her hip. 

Starscream could feel the anxiety of the Dinobot and almost rolled his optics at the Dinobot's defence. 

"Was it? Huh. Did not notice," the Dinobot responded, "I was really busy, um, not smashing stuff.". 

Starscream wanted to laugh. That was the worst lie ever told. 

"Grim," Bumblebee said, gritting his denta.

The Dinobot broke. 

"I saw another Dinobot," he said, "and I let him go.".

Starscream knew it. 

"You let an escaped criminal go free?!" Strongarm yelled, and Bumblebee shook his helm. 

"Scowl was not hurting anyone!" Grimlock explained, "he was just smashing. That's what Dinobots do.".

That was a poor excuse in Starscream's eyes. But once again he kept his mouth shut. 

"I bet he's just completely innocent," the Dinobot said, giving a hopeful smile, "I mean, sweet guy, really sweet.".

Starscream shook his head. These Autobots were so soft. Then again, without their softness, he'd be stuck in a stasis pod. 

The minicon took out some device and began swiping through something on it. Starscream gave a puzzled look, wondering what the minicon was doing. 

"The database said this Scowl worked for Thunderhoof," the minicon stated, "he was a wrecker, destroying the homes of Bots who wouldn't vacate after Thunderhoof stole the land they sat on.".

All optics turned to Grimlock. 

"Scrap.".

The lieutenant let out a groan. 

"Well, hopefully, Scowl hasn't hooked up with Thunderhoof yet," he said. 

"But if he has, maybe Scowl can lead us to the rest of Steeljaw's pack," Strongarm said. 

Three of them transformed, while the lieutenant and the Dinobot didn't. 

"Bee, I won't let you down again," the Dinobot promised. 

"I hope not Grim," Bumblebee said, "Okay Autobots, let's wreck and roll!". 

Starscream had to bite down on his claw to stop from bursting into laughter. He tried his best to regain his posture but was failing at it. He had to remind himself that this was his superior and that he couldn't do anything foolish. 

"See 'wreck' because Scowl wrecks stuff," he said, once again desperate to save the situation, "and then I— and I was like 'roll' because that's— that's what we do.". 

"And 'lame' because that was lame," Sideswipe retorted. 

"Fine." was Bumblebee's only response. 

Starscream was taken aback. Since when could someone insult their superior like that? And without retribution? If he'd spoken to Megatron like that, his wings would've been dented in. 

Starscream was barely paying attention when the team left, still wondering how the red bot managed to get away with that. A gentle tap on his pede brought him to his senses. He looked down, and saw Russell looking up at him. 

"Aren't you going to go with them?" he asked, and Starscream shook his head. 

"The lieutenant gave me orders to stay in the base unless he specifies otherwise," Starscream answered, "and I still have tasks to do.".

With that he looked at the minicon, who nearly jumped. 

"Oh righty then," the minicon said, "well we really should get back to organising those pods.".

Starscream nodded, going in the direction of the pods to complete his task. 

… 

"I think I'm done," Starscream said, placing the last pod on the ground, "unless you need me to do more tasks.". 

The minicon shook his head frantically. 

"no no," he said, "you don't need to do more tasks. You're free for the rest of the day.".

Fix-It gave a nervous smile, hoping to Primus the seeker just went away. They'd been at this all morning, and Fix-It just wanted to get back to the command center away from the very dangerous and unpredictable seeker. 

"Very well," the seeker said, "but if there is anything else you need me to do, tell me.". 

Then the seeker walked off, and Fix-It let out a sigh of relief. Finally. 

Fix-It rolled in the other direction, happy to be done. 

… 

Starscream was bored. He was supposed to be doing something. He felt useless sitting around doing nothing. He wanted to be doing something. But in the end, he just sat down and ended up going through stuff. 

He checked up on the ship, looking through the feed to make sure nothing was out of place. Nothing of interest. He checked his energon vault, and once again nothing was out of place. He groaned. Feeling useless was something he hated. Because uselessness was usually followed by a beating. Was the minicon sure he wasn't supposed to be doing something? 

Hesitantly, making sure no one was around, he opened up one of his logs. One of the newer ones. 

"Log, whatever. There's no point recording the number anymore, I've lost count. I'm still no closer to finding Megatron, and I'm running low on energon, which means I have to find a deposit somewhere. And to where I'm headed, I know a few mines… but I'm having more nightmares. And it's always him. Always. H-he's always there, and I know he's never leaving. I'm always going to be in his shadow… UNTIL I finish him off. That's the only way to be rid of him. Gah! Still recording. Um, Starscream 

… out.".

That was one of the logs Starscream hated the most. Even after fifteen stellar cycles, he was still having those nightmares. He had one the first night here, and since then, he'd come to a decision: He wouldn't recharge. 

The nightmares were too vivid and terrifying that he knew recharge wouldn't help. He needed to prove he wasn't weak, and these nightmares made him weak. So he would stay awake. He didn't need recharge after all. He could manage. He was Starscream. He could handle anything, so he didn't need to recharge. 

It wasn't important. 

… 

It was hours until the team returned, and in that time Starscream had managed to comb through three more entries before deciding to get up and walk around. He hadn't done much apart from his tasks, and he waited to get assigned a new one. 

He looked at them as they entered the scrapyard, Decepticon in tow. They were giving strange looks to the humans, who were doing something that looked like dancing. 

"What exactly did we miss?" the Dinobot said. 

Starscream wondered the same thing. 

Bumblebee just shrugged, turning around to leave. He walked off, but nearly jumped when he saw Starscream. 

“Gah! Starscream!” the yellow bot yelped, “sorry, you startled me.”.

“It’s fine,” the seeker said.

“So, uh, did you get your tasks done?” Bumblebee asked.

“Of course,” Starscream said, “I completed all of my tasks for the day.”.

“Great,” Bumblebee said, “so you mind helping us put this ‘Con in a stasis pod?”. 

“Of course M— of course.".

Bumblebee raised an optical ridge, but said nothing more. 

The seeker had some strange behaviour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get another chapter out, but I've been really busy these past few days.


	20. Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream tries to recharge. It doesn't go well.

“Starscream?” 

The seeker shook himself out of his daze. “What?”. Sideswipe gave him an odd look, raising his servos slightly. 

“You’ve been staring at the sky for a long time dude,” he said, “thought you might fall into recharge with your optics open.”.

Scrap. At least Sideswipe wasn’t questioning if the bot had been recharging. Or if he was doing well. 

“Sorry, I was unfocused,” the seeker said, shaking a servo. Then his memory clicked. “Aren’t you supposed to be on patrol?”.

The red bot’s eyes widened in shock. “Uh, nope.”. Starscream smirked. 

“Really?” Starscream asked innocently, “after all I swore I heard the Lieutenant tell you you were supposed to be patrolling around the northern area after dawn.”.

Sideswipe gulped, then raised his servos in defeat. “Okay okay yes I’m supposed to be on patrol. But it’s boring! Nothing’s happened since we got that Dinobot!”. 

“Just because it’s boring doesn’t mean you can’t do it,” Starscream scoffed, shaking his head, “honestly, if this were still the war–” he nearly smirked at Sideswipe’s groan –“then your base would’ve been raided by now.”.

“Jeez do you old bots ever shut up about the war?” the red bot groaned.

Starscream’s expression turned from one of cockiness to complete outrage. 

“I am not old!” he snapped, “honestly you younger bots are the problem! There’s no respect anymore!”. 

“Yeah, yeah whatever boomer,” Sideswipe said, smirking. It vanished instantly when he heard Bumblebee call his name. “Scrap! Uh, yeah better go and patrol! See ya!”.

The red bot transformed and zoomed off, leaving Starscream alone. The seeker chuckled, folding his servo’s over his cockpit. Amateur. Just then, he heard pedsteps and sluggishly turned around. The lieutenant walked in his direction. 

“Have you seen Sideswipe?” Bumblebee asked, “I haven’t found him anywhere, and Strongarm said she didn’t see him leave for patrol.”.

“I have,” the seeker responded, “you just missed him, he heard you coming and sped off.”. 

The yellow bot groaned. “That bot is going to be the death of me.”.

Starscream would’ve laughed. Instead, he settled for silence. 

“If you want Starscream,” Bumblebee started, “you could take the day off. You do your tasks all the time and don’t slack off. Which is more than I can say for  **some** bots.”.

Starscream froze. “Are you… sure? I wouldn’t want to be useless to you.”.

“No really, it’s fine,” Bumblebee said, “you don’t need to push yourself too much. You do your work well and you deserve a break.”. 

Starscream was hesitant. He already felt like he was slacking off, but if his superior told him so, then he should accept. Finally, the seeker nodded.

“Thank you, M– sir,” the seeker said, dipping slightly. He was slipping up too often. 

Either Bumblebee didn’t notice or didn’t mind, but he did not question the seeker’s slip. Instead, he nodded and walked off. And Starscream was alone. Again. He stayed silent and stood for a few minutes until he decided to try something. He slid onto the dusty ground, leaning his head on his knees. He took a shaky breath before closing his eyes.

It was dark. He couldn’t tell where he was, he couldn’t tell anything really. Not only was it dark, but it was also silent, and very still. He moved slightly, before beginning to walk. He managed to hear his pedsteps echoing in this vast void, but nothing else. 

He walked for what felt like hours until he felt something falling on his helm. He swiped his servo over it, looking down at it to see what it was. Dust. 

Confused, he continued to walk, until a small spot of light appeared at the end of the darkness. With an impulse, and the curiosity to understand what was happening, he ran towards it. The light grew closer and closer, until–

He was in a cave. He wanted to groan. What was he doing in a cave?

His answer came in the form of trembling ground, and the sound of very, very large pedsteps. Ones he recognized all too well. He twisted around, ready to run back where he came from before he slammed into something. He stumbled back, falling onto the crumbly ground with a thud. He shook his helm, looking up, and immediately regretting it. Those burning red optics, those symmetric scars, that sharp-toothed scowl. It was all too familiar.

Megatron. 

He needed a plan after he stopped shaking like a leaf.

“Starscream.” the warlord growled, in a tone, Starscream knew all too well. He was going to be punished.

He chose to run. He scrambled to his pedes, starting into a sprint before something grabbed his back and threw him across the cave. He crashed against a rock, falling back on the ground. He looked down at his servos, and his optics widened at their shape. Oh, Primus, this was his other chassis. He didn’t have any time to take any information in, because a clawed servo wrapped around his neck and hoisted him up. And his optics met Megatron’s. 

He screamed, squirming around in the warlord’s grip. Megatron responded by tightening his grip till Starscream was choking, swearing his voice box was about to be crushed. He stopped struggling, and simply shivered as he stared in terror at the warlord. 

“You have ceased to be of use to me, Starscream,” the warlord growled, dropping the seeker like a sack of stones, then charging up his blaster, “so you shall simply cease to be.”.

“N-no! Master please!” the seeker begged, eyes wide with fear, “I-i’m not useless! I swear! Please don’t terminate me! Please!”.

Starscream was scared, very very scared. He was stuck in here, with no one to help him, at the mercy of Megatron. Like he always was. 

The cannon charged up, and Starscream looked at the warlord, into those burning red optics.

And the last thing he heard, was his voice.

“You were always worthless.”.

The blaster fired.

Starscream woke up in a start, jumping to his pedes and tripping over himself. He landed flat on his cockpit and began to squirm around. He scrambled to his pedes, optics darting around the area. He looked up, and almost cried when he saw a blue sky. 

It was a dream. There was no cave, and most importantly no Megatron.

He growled. That settles it. He wouldn't recharge. 

He would not see that blaster or those red optics ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back. again. life is leeching out my energy and creativity.


End file.
